In the Game of Love

Chapter 14

'Are you sure everything's okay, Bub?' Mom asks for the fifth time. The warm glow of the laptop screen casts long shadows across my darkening bedroom.

'Yeah, I told you I'm just tired. Work's been crazy lately with the promotion and all,' I force a laugh, trying to brush off her worries.

Dad chimes in, his voice gentle. 'Remember to take care of yourself, Bell. Work is important but not more than your health.'

I nod, fighting the sudden lump in my throat. I hate having to lie to them like this.

'I know, I know,' I assure them, plastering on a smile that I pray reaches my eyes.

'We just miss you so much. We could take care of you here. Help you out. You know I was just passing by your company office branch that's by the pier the other day. Are you sure they won't let you transfer? Christie, the new dean of students, her daughter now works full time remote. Things have changed these days, you know. I don't get why you have to live in London, when you are from the best city in the world!' Mom rattles off her thoughts in her usual rapid-fire style.

I love my parents, so very much, but it always bugged me how they still treat me like a child, who doesn't know what's good for her. And also, some of the things she said are blatantly untrue. Both of them are so busy with their lives that they hardly had time to take care of me when I was growing up. I highly doubt they would be able to do it now, still active as ever.

Not that I resent them for it or something. I'm glad that they are thriving, truly.

Still, something Mom said nags at me.

What am I doing in London after all?

I thought I knew. But, really, do I?

I'm hardly that same person I was when I came here to chase away the ghosts of John. New York doesn't really hold the same painful associations anymore. I am pretty settled in my career, and I know I can easily either get another job in anywhere else or move to another team in another country. And while I love Steph and Matt, our friendship isn't dependent on proximity.

Then why am I here?

'Mom, can you not? I just got promoted, it would be tricky to change things so soon.' Even as I say the words, they ring hollow in my ears.

Dad, ever the voice of reason, interjects. 'As long as you're happy. That's all that matters to us.'

Happy.

I'm happy and I have everything I need.

I repeated that sentence to myself so many times that I almost started to believe it.

I stifle a sigh.

'I know, I know,' I grumble again. 'I gotta go now, but I'll text you later, okay?'

We say our goodbyes, the screen fades to black, and with a shaky breath, I close my laptop.

Out of habit, I take out my phone but there are no messages waiting.

Since we came back, Sonny and I exchanged a few brief texts, both tiptoeing around mentioning what happened. He seemed cold. I'm sure he's busy, with the season about to end in two more games, but I don't think that's the reason why he's keeping his distance.

Maybe he's finally done with me. For good.

And maybe that's all for the best.

I don't blame him. We came so close to getting caught that it must have given him a big reality check.

I'm just not worth all the trouble. I'm an awkward, frigid mess, never able to make up my mind, a ticking time bomb threatening to blow up his carefully crafted public image. I can hardly blame him. Even I wouldn't want to date me.