blossom out | minsung ✗

15.

| jisung's pov | 

we're lying in my mattress, i'm in minho's arms and i'm holding him close while we both stared into space. releasing as many of my safe pheromones to aid his pain. he doesn't say a word as he traces his fingers faintly across my skin. i complement whether or not to speak at all, not exactly wanting to bother him with a question he probably doesn't even want to answer. such as, "are you okay?" the most important and stupid question yet to exist. 

i look up at him, search for his eyes. when he finally notices, he leans close to my face and our lips peacefully meet together. i melt into his lips, my brain pressures with pleasure, my body wants to explode from such a simple gesture. his lips shift, he wants to pull away. 

but i don't allow it. i lean in closer, pressing our lips tightly as i slowly begin to sit up. i change my seating position, moving on to his lap and hovering on top of him. he seems surprised as his lips part a little out of reaction. i take the advantage to slip my tongue inside his mouth. 

something inside me flows and all i can think about is success. i want to succeed in making minho better. i want to make his worries go away and i want to help him out. in anyway that'll be. 

i nibble on his lower lip slowly, shifting my weight under him and searching for a fraction of him. i'm in the lead, but i don't know what i'm doing. i want to make him feel better. 

if it means doing this, i'll do it. 

my hands sneakingly run down his shirt, when they stop just above his waistline, i slip them under his shirt. his body is so hot when my fingers contact his skin. 

make him feel better. 

i pull away from his lips, instantly in doing so, i take my shirt off and once it's off i return my lips back to him. our teeth clattering together but i'm quick to take control once again. i grab his hands with my own, bringing them to my bare skin and trailing his hands down to touch me. i shudder and hold back a moan from escaping me. 

isn't this how you make someone feel better? 

i pull away from his lips, dip my head down as my eyes follow my hand movement that have now gone down to his pants. breathless and completely in nerves, i struggle to unzip his pants. 

"fuck," i cursed under my breath as i couldn't control my body from shaking. 

"jisung," minho calls out my name. 

i ignore his voice, my mind set in one thing at the moment. 

when i finally succeed on unzipping his pants, i sigh in relief and begin to move my hands inside his pants. "jisung." 

shut up, i'm almost there. 

his cock comes forward and just as i'm about to finally grasp it, minho forcefully grabs my arms and his aggressive action causes me to finally snap out of it and look into his eyes. minho's eyes are filled with confusion, fuming, and disbelief.  i feel myself fall into redemption.

"what're you doing?" his voice is haunting, like he's grossed out. or at least, my mind is telling me that. 

"what're you doing?" his voice and gaze is filled with worry. 

i shake my head, and i don't know why i suddenly feeling like crying. "i-i...i'm...i'm..." fuck, what the hell was i thinking? was i just forcing minho to have sex with me?? what the hell is wrong with me? what kind of person am i truly, to do something like that to him? 

i just wanted to make him feel better. 

was this not it at all? 

"jisung," he calls out my name again, this time, i listen to his voice. when i look back at him, he has soft look in his eyes and a small smile on his face. his hand falls to my face and he skims it down my jaw and holds onto my neck, bringing me closer. our foreheads bump together but he keeps our gazes locked when he says, "you don't have to do this...not right now. not this fast. you don't have to force yourself to do this."