THE NURSERY NURSE - (TNN - RANDOM)

CARDIAC ARREST - SIOBHAN

When Charlotte laughed and said "it's funny that you think you have any heartstrings" I didn't allow my facial expression to change. As she walked away I asked out loud "when did Charlotte get so feisty?" I know Charlotte has every right to dislike me, I've never been kind to her and all I've caused her is hassle, but I feel so wounded by her words. She could never possibly know how cruel she'd just been.

She doesn't know how much trouble I'll be in when I get home. He told me to be home by seven and now I don't think I will be. Charlotte isn't worrying about what awaits her when she leaves, she's excited to talk to her children or to call Mia. Mia will shower her with affectionate words, each one flowing directly from the red heads heart. While Charlotte smiles and laughs, I'll be crying and pleading with a man with no heart at all.

I have nobody who cares and nobody I can call. What if I'd told Charlotte? Part of me thinks she would have helped me, but at the back of my mind I can see her smirking at me. I can see the glee behind her eyes as she realises I've finally got what I've always deserved. She'd walk away and leave me here, laughing at me and wondering why on earth I thought she'd help me.

Would she?
Maybe.
No.

I do have heartstrings. They're snapping and breaking and I don't think I can hold on much longer. My chest aches constantly and when the weight of my situation truly hits me, I can barely catch my breath. He's taking my breath away from me. He's taking my body away from me. My heart is in his hands and he's tearing it apart.

What is it like, to feel loved? How does it feel, knowing someone would die for you? I wish I could feel what it's like to be held by someone who sees me as precious and not their possession.

Nobodies ever held me without hurting me.

I'm not sure what will end my life. Maybe it will be him. Maybe it will be me. Maybe I'll just wither away until there's nothing left.

I wish my heart would stop beating.

My whole life, my body, my soul.

They're going into cardiac arrest.