All the hours

Chapter 8

                                                                                           Rayne

I find him instantly, out by the pool, lounging with his favourite baseball hat resting on his face, shielding him from the scorching Sun. I can't tell if he's asleep or not, so I whisper his name in means of getting a response, but all I receive is a muffled "I'm sleeping", which confirms all my beliefs of him not sleeping. 

I knock the hat off his face with a flick of my index finger, and put it on myself, setting down by the chair next to him. Kaden's eyes remain closed as I say out his name repeatedly, him not even baring a response. Annoyed, I ask "How long are you gonna keep this up?" Motionless, he replies "Long enough for you to go away."

In return, I kick up my feet and recline the seat all the way back, getting as comfortable as I can. This seems to trigger him, as he narrows his eyes and cranes his head to look at me. After a moment of inspection, he sighs and sits up straight, swinging his legs over the edge of the seat to face me. "What do you want, Ray?"

'Ray.' One word. A thousand memories. A thousand shared secrets. A thousand whispers. A thousand laughs. Who knew that one word would be able to make my heart flutter and ache at the same moment?

He's oblivious to what he just said, or so he acts like it. I'm grateful for the hat covering my vision from his, as I take a deep breath, and mimic his position. "To talk", I reply, searching his face for any kind of emotion or reaction. Just give me something, Kaden. Please. My pleas go unheard as he stares back at me with an empty gaze and hollow eyes. This isn't the Kaden I know. No. This is not my Kaden. 

His eyes move away from me and to the pool, focusing on the billowing water, and its aqua blue colour, as he calmly replies, "We have nothing to talk about." Yes, we do. Years and years of pent up anger, aggression, fear, and most importantly, loneliness. If only he could just look at me properly. 

When I first heard of Kaden and Avery returning for the summer, the first thing I felt was relief. I hadn't heard from him for years. There wasn't a single day that passed where I didn't think of him and what could've been if it wasn't for my poor decisions and immaturity. I was to blame for what went down between us, and I was to blame for not talking to each other for 6 years, and I was to blame for letting him move on to a new life without me. 

Seeing him for the first time again was like being reborn. The way his eyes lit up when he saw me. The way he tightened his arms around me. The way his breath felt against my neck. I was teleported back to 6 years ago, when were just Rayne and Kaden. I was determined to make things right between us again, and I will, cause I lost him once and I can't lose him again. 

"Just let me explain." His gaze returns back to mine, but unlike the last time, his eyes are fueled with fire as he inches closer leaning his elbows on his knees. In the most hushed voice, only so that the both of us can hear, he says, "There is nothing to explain. You changed and I changed . That's no one's fault, and at the end of this summer I'll go back to my life and you'll go back to yours, and it'll all be like this never happened." 

I stand stunned at his words, tears threatening to pool in my eyes, and I try my hardest to restrain them back. He gets up to leave, and I'm unable to form words as he turns his back and starts to walk away. I find enough courage to balance on my legs as I say, "But it did happen." My voice comes out breathy and I can feel my heart hammering against my chest as Kaden stops in his tracks and turns around. 

"No, it didn't. Cause you ruined it before it even started."