Left without Goodbye
" In everyday lives, we always have that one person who we acknowledged the most that we thought we knew them as they know us."
It was a dark and gloomy day. As I attend my friends funeral.
"A childhood friend, is it really that all?... I always see her as an optimistic person than anyone I knew... Yet, She was taken earlier to her last breath. " I thought to myself
As I heard mourning and weeping of her love one's. It felt so heavy in my chest. I'm so frustrated and regretful. From that day, she left, and I couldn't even reach her now.
" Why? Why? Why did you leave me?" I asked myself and hitting my fist in my head.
I feel so suffocated and couldn't see clear anymore. As if I know I can't see her smile and warm presence.
"Why does it have to be her?" I asked.
" Hidan..." her best friend approached me.
" Yes?" I asked
"Aunt is looking for you," She said.
" Alright... Thanks, " I said, walking past her.
As I got to talk to her mother in black outfit and look to her father wearing a suit. I couldn't say anything to their unfazed face.
"Ian... here is my daughter's notebook that was the note to be given to you." Her mother said.
" Thank you ... and condolences for your loss... Ma'am and Sir, " I said.
There, I knew something was off with her parents and walked out of the memorial.
Then the rain began to pour down. I got to my apartment all drench,but saved the note given to me.
" Errien ... " I said, sighing out and looking at her note.
I remembered her a cheerie person in class and a childhood friend or my last love. She died on July 24th due to a hit and run incident.
Cause of death is the traumatic blood cloth in her brain and loss of blood.
I was about to meet her in the park to celebrate my birthday, but she didn't come, and i waited for hours, contacted her so many times, and knew that she was in the ICU.
As I rushed, there i was already too late. She died and couldn't be saved anymore. I collapsed against the wall, hearing the news with grievances and indenial logic.
I screamed from the top of my lungs and kicked the wall. There, I glanced at my cat that Errien took when I met her.
"Rian," I said, tearing up and hugging it.
I can sense her care on what she left. It hurts to lose someone you love so much and cruel to see her lifeless.
I always remembered that I was holding a bouquet of roses and preparing to propose to her before celebrating my birthday.
It was her ideal dream to see me in a suit and her white dress. Now, she worn her white dress in her coffin with such a smile.
"Rian... Why is my fate so cruel?" I asked, crying.
There, I never felt so empty and numbed all over. In a few more days, i went back to my job as a police investigation.
"Hidan..." My colleague said
" Yes?" I asked
" The chief said you should take time off for now... you're overdoing yourself." It said.
"I'm fine," I said.
There, my chief confronted me and handed me a letter to take a vaccant due to my condition.
" Sir... I can work... please, " I said
" Sir Hidan... you're a head of investigation department with such condition ... you're not yet capable of fulfilling your duty. So, as my subordinate, you're not physically and mentally unstable for now." He said
" No! Please!" I plead and kneeled on the ground.
" Hidan..." my colleague said
" Don't fire me!" I said
"You're not fired, Sir Hidan... I only recommend you take a vacancy to be stable, unlike your condition now. You're forcing yourself bit by bit to exhaust yourself to death." The chief said.
" But... I don't need to -" I said
"Sir Hidan... Take time off and regain yourself again." He said.
There, I was forced to not work and left in my apartment. I never felt more useless than I am right now.
As I saw Rian making the note fall, I rushed towards catching it and saw a glimpse of her note.
I remembered that Errien always wrote on this note ever since we're 8 up to high school.
I opened the first page of her note and saw many hand draws from a simple childish flower to a realistic one's.
She's still creative, as i know, and her handwriting is messy to neat. I guess she did have a bad habit of getting too lazy to write all the time.
As I read her notes, and now I slowly understand it's more like her journal, even dairy, since it's too girly, that's really interesting how she writes her experiences like it is some story.
I
started to read it and realised. Her personality becomes more and more changing, or is it just me.
From a person's action, their perspective is more different, and now that anyone knew. Nothing they knew to this person is really them, or i call it just a different persona they create.
" Errien... you..." I said.
From 8 years old, Errien and I are childhood friends. But, based on what she wrote about me. Nothing is much changed.
#1 Hello Journal!
Guess what? I met a boy named Hidan! I call him Ian for short. He's a short tempered one... it's fun how to mess with him.
Although, he is sometimes cool like how he scared the bullies off the poor kitty.
Maybe, I'll make him be my friend and we'll have fun with cats.
Say Journal... Today I saw mom with a guy and their lips were so close like dad with her secretary.
I don't get it my grandmother said to keep quiet or a new word I learn a secret to not anyone about it.
