Photography
#621 Hey Journal!
I found my part-time job. It was nice women who had passion with gardening, and it reminded me of my grandma.
So, I work there and study at the same time. I finally managed to talk to him again, buying a bouquet of snowdrops with 4 white roses.
I asked him who it was for,but he didn't reply and he was wearing a black suit. There, I remembered Grandma told me His mother died from a serious illness.
Then I gave him 3 white chrysanthemums to place it to his mother for me. I saw him slightly smile at me, such bittersweet look.
I could only cheer him up a little,but I don't know if it worked.
Since they tell me a person's smile might help the others like grandma to me.
There, I paused for a while and looked at my mother's picture.
"Is it possible that she's talking about me?" I asked myself
My mother died from stage 8 cancer in her lungs, and I was only 7 .
When I kept visiting her until her last breath. She told me she loved me with all of her heart and always be her baby.
Even now, my mom's favourite flower is snowdrop and white roses. Because she loves the colour and fragrance of it.
There, I looked at Rian rubbing against my legs. Now, I knew what she meant that cats are comforting in their own way.
I picked it up and sat down to read her journal again.
#645 Hey Journal!
I kept observing him from a far before,but now I'm walking home with him again.
I managed to keep being happy with him. Yet, his hobbies increase. Especially photography that was mesmerising to watch.
Stopping from time to time. I watched him capture some pictures of random things.
At least, I know we can't always keep things alive or even not forgotten, so maybe someday if I'm not here ... I want my things given to the person. I cherished even if they didn't know it.
I love to paint all the things inside my head,but maybe I'll try photography too. So, I can manage to talk more interesting things with him and he teach me some advice.
"Photography?" I asked myself
No wonder she kept asking more and more to take a clearer.
#700 Hey Journal!
I managed to take 1000 photos so far. It's all skies, plants, places, and him there's also cats.
I showed it to Lexie, and she smiled at me for improving my skills.
I also wanted to thank him, but when I was about to go towards him. He was embracing his girlfriend. Yet, I just stood and stepped away.
My chest hurts, and I feel more irritated when he tells me about her. Lexie told me it's jealousy.
I know I was dumbfounded in my feelings ,but I never felt this since all I know is rejection, abandonment, and be pretentious to keep all the secrets and just smile.
# 727 Hey Journal!
My classmates noticed that I was good at photography and even be against him this Foundation.
I was petrified. Yet, I won against him. When I was telling the meaning of it. The value of the scenery at sunset is both romantic and beautiful.
I looked at him, glancing away from me, and noticed William was smiling at me.
There, I took a step back. Because I can feel his presence not the same as before. Then, I ran up to lexie to accompany me.
After that, I overheard him and his girlfriend an argument.
As I stood there, I did not interrupt them. I heard William talk to him again and blackmailed him. I always know this side of him. Yet, he never noticed and confronted me.
He doesn't deserve such a girlfriend and a best friend who is so twisted. That will always betray him and a liar.
I can only feel the rage and distance from William. Yet, he kept getting close to me. That makes me sick,but I only need to pretend to be fine.
All I want is to talk to him. But why does he always build a wall between us.
Journal... I don't really get love. It is all about it. Either I'm getting more and more attached to him, yet his avoidant towards me.
I asked Lexie about love advice ,but I realized she never had a boyfriend either. Then, only read fictional things.
I know it's hopeless, but I will keep capturing things and him from a far.
Even Lexie says it's stalking when it's definitely different! I told her it's a sense of admiration or motivation.
She just looked at me with a stare that I could tell it's her doubtful face. There, I know it's futile to lie. Cause she's wise and figured my crush out in the first time. I met her.
Sharped-toungue and straightforward person. That I really liked her.
There's no way she can easily see through lies and sarcasm.That's why I called her queen of sarcasm.
Witty one and a good judge without any sugar-coated words, even praise is sometimes rare.
I can tell she's my best friend. She cares in her own way. She's a genius and talented, not just but singing.
I call her sometimes anti-social one. I did tell it to her and even took pictures of her that she told me to delete it. I created a copy of it and pretended to delete the original.
P.S she will never know hehe~ ^♡^
There, I slightly scoffed off and realised some parts of this journal are just her personality ,but some are not to be told.
Then I realized in #777 that she made an album of the pictures she took those times might be in her grandmother's apartment that I heard soon to be demolished by her dad. I need to collect it there and keep it safe.
