The Passion of Lovers//Eremika

18. Cigarettes Out The Window

"Eren?"

"Eren, are you alright?"

He stared at the potted plant on the coffee table. There was also a rubix cube along with some self-help magazines. The plant itself was a well-watered bright pink Hibiscus with healthy green leaves.

It had been three weeks since Reiner's death. Ever since then, Eren and Mikasa have been going out more and Eren started seeing Dr. Hange Zoe. Despite having moments of aloofness, she was a well-seasoned therapist who had helped hundreds and was able to talk Eren into getting back into rehab.

Usually he would be very open with her, talking about life and random thoughts. But today was different.

"I saw his body," Eren said quietly. Hange leaned in to hear what he said and pulled out her clipboard. "They put him in a suit...with a flower on the breast."

"Are you talking about Reiner?" Hange asked solemnly. Eren nodded slowly, holding back tears. The funeral was earlier this morning.

Only so many people showed up. Besides surviving family members and the priest, it was just Eren, Ymir, and Bertholdt. The priest kept babbling on about how good of man he was, how he was a gift from God and all, but Eren knew.

He knew that Reiner was the result of a broken condom and LSD. He knew that Reiner was on a path of self-destruction. But that didn't mean he had to live the rest of life like that. He could've gotten better. Him and Eren both could've gotten better, together. But unfortunately, that is not what happened. Instead, Eren is left alive and forced to look upon the cadaver of his friend.

He told Hange about the funeral, originally seeming indifferent and mentioning it and a casual tone. But now that the day has come, now that the moment finally happened, he shows more empathy and sadness.

"Now, this is a dumb question but-," Dr. Zoe started it off. She wrote something down onto her notes on the clipboard and resumed her question. "How did you feel when you saw his body?"

Eren simply stared at her with his hands interlocked and over his mouth.

Hange shrugged her shoulders, "Hey, I told you it was going to be dumb question but I get paid for your answer so..."

He sighed and said, "I felt sad. And guilty, of course. Y'know, I just left him there while I got high myself. Sometimes I still wonder why I was able to live and he wasn't, but it wouldn't be the first time I thought about that."

"Are you referencing your mother's murder?"

Eren's blood ran cold. Was it from the suddenness of what she said? Or rather was it from the complete lack of sympathy in her tone? He wanted to stand as still as a statue, but his head nodded grudgingly. Hange sat up and wrote it down. "Right," She said as she continued writing. "Do you want to continue this session or end it here? We can pick this conversation back up next Monday if that's alright." Eren agreed. They shook hands and agreed to next Monday at 3:00 P.M. He left the office and started to head back to his car.

When he got in the vehicle, his phone began to ring.

Without looking at the caller id, Eren picked up the call and said with annoyance, "Hello?"

"Hey bro, sorry I missed your calls and all. You need something?"

Eren's heart stopped. He didn't answer the question, but rather simply stared at the steering wheel.

"Eren?"

"What, Zeke?" Eren said. After a month, he finally returns his calls. A fucking month..."Hey don't get pissed with me. I should be pissed because you kept calling every 5 seconds. And on top of that, you're off getting your fancy-ass degree while I'm back at home taking care of the drunkard. So what the fuck is yo-"