The Passion of Lovers//Eremika

17. The Passion of Lovers

Mikasa pulled up to the front of the club. She had thrown on a black sweater under her pajamas and slipped on some sneakers. Eren walked out, his long hair undone from the ponytail, and looked around for Mikasa.

She slammed the car horn.

He noticed where she was and quickly made his way to the passenger side. "Thanks," he mumbled. She looked ahead and pulled the car out of park.

The drive was long, and silent. Mikasa didn't say anything to Eren and Eren tried to talk to Mikasa. After a long awkward silence, Eren made a request; "Can we drive to the cemetery?"

Mikasa changed routes. The lights that Eren saw on his way to the club were less colorful now, they only seemed like just blots of white light. Nothing more and nothing less. The people he saw now were homeless and depressed. Junkies walking the streets, begging for money. Men bringing drunk women to their car. Killers, killers stalking the alleway looking for victims. The world seemed more depressed. Lonely, depressed, and just fucking awful. All of a sudden, the city faded. More trees started to appear, leaving the horrid urbanness behind. Then, graves.

"Why do you want to be here?" Mikasa asked, stepping out of the car. Eren shrugged and walked into the cemetery. The two carefully stepped over the burials, being sure not to disturb the resting dead. Eren led the way to a grave far in the back. Mikasa followed, suspicious. She looked around at the sunken place. It almost seemed like a horror movie, with the fog on the ground and the moon shining bright. She was drawn in by the queer beauty, and then she came face first with Eren's back. He had stopped at a grave. Mikasa came to his side and looked at the name:

In loving memory of Carla Jaeger.

Beloved mother, daughter, sister, and friend.

1963-1998.

Mikasa sucked in a breath. She glanced over at Eren. His eyes were red and puffy, like he'd been crying. "How," he started, "How do you think she would feel if she saw me?" He sniffled and looked at Mikasa. "Would she hate me?" Mikasa shook her head, "No, no she wouldn't." She hugged herself and looked back at the headstone. "She would only be disappointed, that's all." He sniffled and said, a bit loudly, "You're saying it like that's better!". He suddenly broke down into tears, falling to his knees and holding his face. Mikasa stood there, stunned. She never saw him like this, in a sensitive state. He wore his drug-addicted fuckboy persona so well that it's hard to believe it's him bawling like this.

She bent down and patted his back, unsure what to do. "Shh, it's okay. I didn't mean it like it was better," she tried saying. But he only kept crying. Eventually he turned to her and cried into her sweater. "I'm a fucking failure, Mikasa!" he screamed into her shoulder. "I should've been fucking aborted, I wish I was never bor-"

Mikasa pulled him off of her and slapped him across the face. He held his cheek and turned back to her but then she slapped him across the other side of his face. "Why the-"

"Pull your fucking self together!" Mikasa yelled at him, pulling at the collar of his shirt. "How would your own mother feel if she heard you talking about yourself like that? And at her grave, for God's sake!" Eren started to say something but was cut off by Mikasa.

"You can't blame yourself for everything that happens that involves you! Your mother's passing wasn't your fault, so don't you fucking make it your fault! And whatever happened at that stupid club wasn't your fault either! Things happen and we can't afford to linger on every single fucking death!

We can't stop living our lives just because someone else's passed. Do you seriously think your mother thought you were a failure? Do you?!"

Eren only looked at her. Damn, he thought to himself. She was right. He wanted to say something but he didn't. He could only stare at Mikasa. In reality, her face was red and livid, but to him it looked almost similar to a pouting doll face. Calmly, he pulled her hands off of his collar and held them. No words were said, and yet, there was still much feeling. "I," Eren had trouble getting the words out, "She...no, she didn't. But my dad does."

"Is your father your mom?"

"No..."

"Then she never thought you were a failure," Mikasa pulled her hands away and cupped his face.

Then, either out of compulsion or compassion, she softly kissed Eren.

His face started to blush profusely, but eventually he returned the kiss. Both were in shock by their actions, but it didn't matter. Who was even looking? The corpses? And with this, the two lovers continued their soft passion, ignoring the scene and where they were. Eren pulled Mikasa into a hug and held her waist, deepening the kiss. Mikasa put her hands around neck, reinforcing it. And by chance, the fog on the ground lifted and revealed the moon in its entirety. The light shone greatly upon the two, who had but not a care in the world. The gloominess from the cemetery seemed to fade the longer they were kept in their passion. And when the lovers broke away from each other, they put their heads together and Eren whispered,

"I promise, Mikasa, that I'll get better. For you and me, I will get better."