Unravel Me

11: Losing Sleep

   Chuuya wouldn't let Dazai leave the next day.

How could he, after the conversation they'd had the night before? He couldn't stop thinking about it—sure, he'd felt horrible hearing that Dazai didn't feel wanted by his father, but it was the way he looked when talking about him that made Chuuya so determined not to let him go. He'd looked so. . . haunted. It was clear that his father's house was anything but home to him.

Dazai had tried to sneak out the next morning before Chuuya got up, worried that he would do, well, exactly what he'd planned to do. Thankfully, the other boy had already been awake and heard him walking down the hallway toward the front door. He threw the covers off of himself and raced out of his bedroom, still in his oversized band t-shirt and sleep shorts.

"What are you doing?" He'd demanded.

Dazai winced before schooling his expression into his trained smile and turning to face Chuuya. "I was heading out. I just figured we were all done with your calculus work, so. . ."

"You weren't even going to say goodbye?"

"I thought you'd still be sleeping. Besides, it's not like I won't see you on Monday."

"Do you have to leave so soon, though? I mean, I thought maybe we could finally try that cafe you'd wanted to go to last time."

Dazai blinked in surprise, completely taken aback by the suggestion. He hadn't made the cafe up—he'd had to pick a real place in the very likely event that Shirase and Yuan weren't canoodling outside of her apartment—but he didn't think Chuuya would have any desire to go back to that part of the city after what he'd seen. "You actually want to?"

"Yeah," Chuuya shrugged. "You made it sound pretty good."

Dazai slid his duffel off of his shoulder, setting it on the floor by the door before shoving his hands in the pockets of his coat. "Alright, let's go."

Chuuya kept him at the cafe for hours, jumping into a new topic of conversation each time the one they were on slowed. It started with Chuuya asking Dazai how he'd slept, then transitioned into him talking about his sister.

"You two seem pretty close," Dazai observed as the other boy droned on.

"Yeah, I mean, sure she might piss me off sometimes, but isn't that what sisters are for? At the end of the day, she's my best friend. I'd do just about anything for her, and I know she'd do the same."

Dazai sighed, resting his head in his hand as he lazily stirred his coffee. "I wish I could relate. I think my little sister is praying I'll croak so she can get all of my father's inheritance someday."

Chuuya's eyes widened in surprise. "I didn't know you had a sister."

"Oh, did I not mention it? Yeah, she's my half sister, and she's much younger than me. Her mother didn't leave by choice—died in some freak accident—so my father sees her as a blessing instead of a curse. She was the final gift given to him by his beloved wife before her untimely death."

Eventually that conversation somehow became one about their majors.

"I didn't really ever dream about becoming a doctor," Dazai explained. "It was just sort of an expectation that i'd follow in my father's footsteps."

"I can't imagine choosing to put yourself through something as stressful as medical school if you don't even want to be a doctor."

Dazai didn't expect anyone to get it. Mori wasn't like regular guardians. With him, choice was nothing more than an illusion. The only option available was the one that he offered you.