Fairytale origins one shots/short stories

Incorrect Quotes #1

(I love incorrect quotes, so there may be a few of these included witching this thing)

Mario: Rules are made to be broken!
Ritchie: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Bryan: Uh, piñatas.
David: Glow sticks.
Kat: Karate boards.
Kayla: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Mario: Rules.
Ritchie:

Kit: Lol. Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this.
Kayla : What did you do Kit?
Kit: a Mistake.

David: What type of dog is this?
Mario: That's a tortoise!

Kit: Brandon taught me to think before I act.
Kit: ...So if I smack the shit out of you or burn you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

David: I didn't want to do it, no one else wanted to do it, so I made Mario do it!

Mario: You're giving me a sticker?
Ritchie: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a tree saying "I'm rooting for you!"
Mario: I'm not a preschooler Ritchie!
Ritchie: Fine than, guess I'll take it back-
Mario: Nuh uh! I earned this, back off!

Kit: Are you busy?
David: No.
Kit: Want to do something?
David: Why would you want to try and ruin this for me?!

Brandon: Truth or dare?
Mario: Truth.
Brandon: How many hours have you slept this week?
Mario:
Mario: Dare.
Ritchie: Go to sleep.
Mario: I don't like this game!

*Kit is reading a Clifford The Big Red Dog book*
Bryan , watching: How did he get to be so big? Do they ever explain that?
Kit: Well, Emily's love for him grew, and so did he.
Bryan : Well, your dog is pretty small. Guess that says something about you, huh?
Kit, angrily shutting their book: YOU'RE SMALL! WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS?!?!

Mario: Now, the recipe calls for 2 shots of vodka.
Mario: *upends the bottle*

Richie : When we said bring us something back from the beach we meant like a shell or something!
Mario and David: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!

Bryan: Good news! I didn't screw up!
Lo Pho: ...
Bryan: I screwed up less badly than usual!
Lo Pho: ...
Bryan: Screwed up with less immediate consequences than usual.

Inmo: David, I screwed up, big time.
David: Inmo, given your daily life experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.

Mario: I like to think of myself as a semi responsible adult here.
Brandon: David is 70% of your impulse control and you know this Mario.
David: I feel like Mario is the more responsible one of us two though.
Mario: We are both 70% of each others' impulse control.
Ritchie: Just two lil beasts in pinwheel hats spinning on the merry-go-round at dangerous velocities, holding each other's hands so the other doesn't fall off.

Kit: I love cooking breakfast. It makes the whole house smell like bacon.
Mario: That's true, but it also smells like fire and panic.
Kit: You and the smoke detector need to get off my case.

*Ritchie, Brandon and Michael got drunk at the bar Mario frequently visits*
Ritchie: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.
Michael: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.
Brandon: A realist sees a freight train.
Mario: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks! Now please leave!