The Mafia's Secret(Book 1)

Chapter 36 ✔️

SCARLETT

        There were no words describing how I currently felt. This was the last thing I expected to happen. It was entirely my fault for being so damn stupid. I should have stayed on my Birth Control after I left my abusive ex. At least I was glad the bastard was dead and that there was no way this potential child was his. The thought left me vomiting once more. In the middle of dry-heaving, I could hear the softest of knocks, followed by the concerned voice of Zayn. I was relieved when it wasn't Xavier who came knocking. I couldn't handle having to tell him the possibility of me carrying his child. Not now anyways. It was far too early and this  could just be a coincidence since menstrual cycles could be delayed due to stress and I had been under high amounts of that lately. This couldn't really be happening? Could it? Was this just a dream and if I pinch my arm hard enough, I would wake up? Ouch! Nope. It was real.
        Scrambling through drawers, I hoped to find a pregnancy test or anything that could tell me if I was goin down the rabbit hole. A small amount of joy surged through me when I finally found what I was looking for. Within a matter of seconds, I was pissing on  the stick. The minutes after were dreadful. Even after the suggested wait time, I refused to look  at whatever lines were there. I was fucked either way–
        "Scar, open the damn door! You're starting to freak me out." Zayn interrupted my thoughts, still knocking on the bathroom door.
        "I'll be right out! I just need a minute!" The words came out of me in a scrambled panic, so I knew Zayn didn't buy the I'm fine. Barely flushing the toilet in time to dispose of the evidence, Zayn managed to get the door unlocked, bursting into the small space.
        "What the–Scarlett, you look terrible!" He observed, standing next to me as I tried to body block his view from the test on the edge of the counter. The test I refused to glance at, too terrified to look at the results.
        "Oh, lay off, Zayn. I'm fine. It's just stress."
        By the raised brow, I knew he didn't believe a word I had said. "Anyone else might buy into that bullshit, but I don't. Tell me what's going on, Scar."
        No words would come to mind as I thought of how to tell him, so I just sat up and leaned against the wall, staring at him with my lips pressed in a thin line. Giving him a–put two and two together–look, I swear I could see the gears in his head struggling to turn and process what I was hoping he would get. Once I moved out of the way from blocking the test, It only took a few seconds for his eyes to flicker with realization. He knew.
        "Well, fuck. This just makes things more complicated. Does Xavier know?"
        "Do I know what?"
        Great. Just my fucking luck.
        Glancing at the doorway, Xavier was standing there with his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised as he looked between Zayn and I. Zayn seemed to take this as his cue to leave because he got to his feet, leaving the bathroom in seconds without even a glance at Xavier. The second Zayn left, Xavier took a step into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
        "Well?" He pressed, waiting for me to explain.
        It was clear he was still fuming from the conversation with my mother. He didn't have time for this bullshit. He was definitely not father material just as I wasn't mother material. All the trauma from my past made me swear to never have kids in the future. Yet here I was, late for the first time in my life.
        "Spit it out, Scarlett! I don't have the patience for whatever the hell you are stalling to tell me!" He snapped, growing even more pissed off than he already was.
        Oh, what the hell. "I'm late."
        "Am I supposed to know what that means?" He asked, raising a brow.
        Frustrated, I slammed the unknown result of the pregnancy test,onto his side of the bathroom counter. It didn't take him long to pick it up, waving the positive result in my face. His expression remained the same as he tossed the test into the garbage can beside me. A wave of confusion swirled in my mind as I stood there, trying to comprehend his reaction.
       He sighed after a few minutes of silence. "No one can know about this.  We have enough to deal with as it is."
        "You don't think I know that? It doesn't matter who I tell because I'm not keeping it. I'll be going to the clinic tomorrow."
       "Over my dead body. You're not going anywhere until we sort this out."
        "Seriously?! This is no time to raise a kid. I was born into this life and I'm not about to let that happen to another. I owe it to Mindy and to Jake."
        He sighed out of frustration, turning to leave. His hand resting on the door knob as  he stood  there, tensing his body. Before I could ask what he was doing, he swung around, slamming the back of his hand against my cheek. It wasn't enough force to knock me on my ass but it was enough to kink my neck. My cheek burned hot from the hit and my neck started to hurt but it was nothing I wasn't used to. I  had been through worse so I knew at this point that if he struck me, it was well deserved.
        Glancing up at Xavier, he  was pointing a finger in  my direction, still tensing his upper body as he stared down at me. "I may kill people on a daily basis, but I will not let you kill a defenseless fetus! Is that clear?!"
        Too stunned to speak, nothing but scrambled stutters left my lips. Tears started to well in my eyes but I was quick to blink them back in hopes he hadn't noticed. He had, because he was quick to caress where he had struck me, offering an apologetic look. It didn't last long before he backed off, punching the wall.
        "Dammit, Scar!" He left the bathroom without another word, leaving me standing there in shock.

*   *   *   *

         It was quiet. Too quiet. There was so much tension in the air as we laid in bed. Xavier had his back turned towards me. He hadn't said a single word to me since the discovery in the bathroom. The guilt was eating me alive. I couldn't help but wonder if he had a right to react the way he did. This kid may be in my body but it was ours and Xavier had a right to decide with me about what happened to it. Given his past and current status, I would have never seen him as the man who wanted to keep a kid. He was nowhere near being the fatherly type. Not with the way he had treated his crew...and Jake. That boy had to have owed Xavier some kind of debt otherwise he wouldn't have been in this kind of life.
        Xavier suddenly shifted towards me, pulling me away from my thoughts. He ran the backs of his fingers down the side of my cheek. He sat up, looming over me. He shifted so that he was resting on his forearm while the other slid under the sheets. I was expecting him to feel me up but instead, he rested the palm of his hand on my abdomen.
       "Life is always going to be harsh, Scar. No matter what life you or anyone else brings into the world, there will always be a danger out there threatening their existence. That's just the way the world works. You eliminate the threat  before it gets you. That's how I've survived and how you survived all the shit that was done to you. I do have parasites roaming the earth. Little bastards running  around. At least two or three. I never involved myself in their lives because I was a bastard myself. A Demon from Hell. But you–you changed me,  Scar. I don't know how and I don't know why. All I know is, I'll do whatever it takes to keep you and the baby safe. Even if that means I have to pull the trigger on your parents. I would sacrifice everything for you if that meant I could have another chance at being a father. I love you, Scar. I–"
        I didn't give him the chance to finish his sentence before I grabbed him, pinning him to the bed. It was easy since it was unexpected on his end. Before he could  even comprehend what I was doing, I gave him the most passionate kiss I had ever given him.