Serotonin of my Soul

01

Chapter I

Naliligo ako ngayon sa shower. I need to take away all the alcohol smell on my body, baka maamoy ni daddy at maging grounded ako for a month.

Nagbihis ako ng simple white dress. Kailangan kong maging pormal para maging maganda sa image ni mommy at daddy. They're been in the state for 6 moths and it's a miracle na umuwi pa sila at gusto pa akong makita.

I gaze on the wall clock. It's already 10am, it's a family lunch date.

Hindi parin maalis sa isip ko ang mga nagawa ko kanina. I think it's the most embarrassing moment in my life. He got me being interested to him. There's this piece of me wanting to know him more. I don't know, siguro gusto ko lang ng flirt sa buhay kong 'to. I am not saying I didn't date anyone in the past but believe they're all boring and weird.

My phone beeped. It was a message.

From : Carmina Avila

Anak, anong oras ka pupunta?

My mom texted. Nagmamadali ba sila? Hindi ko alam na hindi sa kanila uso mag lunch ng 12nn. Alas-diyes palang, miss na miss ako? They're just going to nag me off.

To : Carmina Avila

Sabihin mo kay dad na maghintay, papunta na ang paborito niyang anak.

Hindi na siya nag reply. It was showed that she saw the message. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pa sila nag-organize nitong family lunch date daw, nakakapanibago. I just hate to go there, makikita ko nanaman ang mga self-centered at selfish kong mga kapatid.

Lumabas na ako ng hotel room ko. I gaze on the man next door's room. Mukhang may nagpadala sa kaniya, may parcel kasi sa tapat ng door niya.

Humakbang ako papalapit. I rang the door bell six times just right to bother him inside. Mabilis akong tumakbo papalayo, I smiled on what I have done. I am eighteen years old but I am kinda childish parin.

𓆟𓆝𓆞𓆜

Tahimik ang hapag nang aking datnan. Nag-umpisa na silang kumain without me, family lunch nga. Clariese, my younger sister and Ariese my older brother is here. May phone na nakalagay sa table na pwesto ng older sister kong si Mariese, he's attending the lunch through a video call. I wave at her and she smiled at me. Hindi siya makakapunta physically dahil nagtatrabaho siya bilang nurse sa Canada, siya ngalang ang kakampi ko sa pamilyang ‘to umalis pa siya ng bansa.

"The food looks good"

Napatingin silang lahat sakin. I felt being judged. Dad's eyes were scary.
Inutusan ni mommy ang katulong namin na kunan ako ng pinggan at utensils.

"Why are you late?" mahinahong ngunit may awtoridad na saad ni daddy.

I look at him with a wide fake smile. Nanginging ako ngayon. Hes is always like that, visualizing his authority to us.

"Wala pa ngang 12nn dad. I am 30 minutes ear—" he cutted me off.

Bigla niyang hinampas ang lamesa. He is a short-tempered man at perfectionist din, that's why we feared him since we're children. Konting maling galaw mo lang ay makikita na niya, kaya nag-iingat talaga ako sa mga galaw ko. It was freedom for us in the past 6months kasi nasa states sila ni mommy.

"You reek of alcohol! Even if you're eighteen it doesn't mean pwede kana mag-inom. I didn't allow you though!" saad niya, nanginginig ako sa inis dahil hindi yata effective ang perfume at fragrance soap ko dahil naamoy niya parin ako.

Namana ko ata sa kaniya ‘tong maikling pasensiya. I am 18 ang I am allowed to drink, mabuti ngalang at inom lang ang kaya ko. Ngayong nag-inom lang ako sobrang galit na siya, kung magdu-drug siguro ako mapapatay ko siya.