The Silent Listen

October 8th, 10am Session, Observation Notes

Due to the sensitive nature of my patients' confidentiality. Or perhaps due to my own ease. I will not be referring to the individuals by name.

Today's couple were here not of their own accord. Apparently they only did so to keep up appearances. In truth, neither one of them seemed to be sure what they wanted out of their relationship.

In some cases my advice would often be to take a break and focus on each other as individuals, before trying to force themselves to remain a couple.

An interesting development which gave me pause upon hearing it, forced me to neglect that advise in this particular instance.

But I digress, first some background on the two. It seems the couple have been together for at least eight years. Perhaps longer, perhaps not, depending on who you ask. I will elaborate on that point in a moment.

During that time, from I was able to gather, they have been dating for one year, officially a couple for six years, living together for two of those years, and engaged this last year.

Here is where things get a bit more complicated. The two have been in the same circle of friends since high-school I gather. In that time it seems the female had developed feelings for the male. Feelings which were never reciprocated.

It is appropriate to elaborate on their family backgrounds now. They both come from very conservative families. The type of families who expect you to marry into a specific social class. The type who would reject any marriage outside of their social class. Religion also is a strong factor in their decisions as well.

Perhaps, the female remarked, that is why the male never paid notice to her advances towards him. She noted that, because of those familial expectations, he, out of rebelliousness, rejected any girl that his parents hinted towards becoming involved in.

Ironic that their becoming engaged is, this is due to even further complications. Evidently, the male began to become enamored with a second girl in his college years. The kind of girl who was unhindered by social or familial expectations. The kind of girl his family would never approve of.

Evidently the male and this second female began secretly dating behind his families back. Much to the chagrin of the female. However, she saw an opportunity when the male's family came for a surprise visit to the campus. These parents of his were the type to have eyes and ears everywhere. So when they gathered that their young son was secretly dating a mysterious girl, they felt the need to come down and do some meddling in the affairs of their son.

Panicked when he realized his deception would be unraveled, here is where the cunning of his now fiance comes in. It seems that although he and she were not a couple at that time, he did confide in her about nearly every and anything. What she saw then was an opportunity, slyly she offered a compromise to him. One which would seemingly solve all of his problems at once.

She told him to just trust her and follow her lead, since she had an idea, but could not explain all the details, since time was not on their side. Perhaps she did so more as a way to keep him from backing out. Because when she told him to lead her to where his parents were waiting, she took his hand, and announced to his family and introduced herself as the girl that their son was secretly dating.

This clever deception functions on two levels. Firstly, it allows the young man to save face in front of his family while they are present, and to give him the option to pursue the secret girlfriend in the future. And secondly, perhaps more diabolically, it allows this girl to get close to the guy she has had feelings for since high-school, even if said relationship is to be born from a deception, it is something she is willing to live with.