Bungo Stray Dogs on Crack

The Haunted Hospital Hijinks

It was a slow day at the Armed Detective Agency. Nazuna Saito lounged in her chair, idly spinning a pen between her fingers, boredom evident on her face. Naomi Tanizaki, always eager for excitement, suddenly perked up with an idea.

"Hey, Nazuna-chan! I've got the perfect cure for your boredom," Naomi grinned mischievously. "There's this abandoned hospital on the outskirts of town that's supposedly haunted. Want to check it out?"

Nazuna raised an eyebrow, skepticism clear in her voice. "Haunted? Come on, Naomi-chan. We deal with ability users and supernatural threats daily. Ghosts are just stories."

"Oho?" Dazai's voice drifted over, his interest piqued. "Is our brave Nazuna-chan afraid of a few harmless spirits?"

Nazuna bristled at the challenge in his tone. "Of course not! I just think it's a waste of time."

"Then you won't mind proving it," Dazai grinned, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Let's make it an agency outing!"

Before Nazuna could protest, Atsushi chimed in, his voice a mix of excitement and nervousness. "A haunted hospital? That sounds... interesting. Can I come too?"

Kunikida, who had been pretending not to listen, finally spoke up. "This is highly irregular and potentially dangerous. As your superior, I must insist on accompanying you to ensure everyone's safety."

And so, as the sun began to set, the unlikely group found themselves standing before the dilapidated building that had once been Yokohama General Hospital. Its windows were dark, empty eyes staring out at them, and the wind seemed to whisper ominously through the cracks in its walls.

"Well," Nazuna said, trying to keep her voice steady, "shall we?"

As they entered the building, flashlights in hand, the atmosphere immediately changed. The air felt heavy, and strange sounds echoed through the empty corridors.

"Just the wind," Nazuna muttered, more to herself than anyone else.

Dazai, walking beside her, leaned in close. "Or perhaps it's the moans of restless spirits, forever trapped in this place of suffering?"

Nazuna jumped, electricity crackling at her fingertips. "Dazai-san! Don't do that!"

Kunikida, bringing up the rear, was muttering to himself, scribbling furiously in his notebook. "Encounter with supernatural entities not accounted for in daily schedule. Must revise contingency plans immediately."

As they delved deeper into the hospital, strange occurrences began to multiply. Doors slammed shut on their own, shadows moved where no one stood, and eerie whispers seemed to follow them through the halls.

"This is certainly... atmospheric," Atsushi said, his voice shaking slightly. "Maybe we should-"

He was cut off by a blood-curdling scream. Everyone turned to see Nazuna, wide-eyed and pale, pointing at a flickering apparition at the end of the hallway.

"G-g-ghost!" she stammered, all pretense of skepticism forgotten.

Dazai, for once, looked genuinely surprised. "Well, I'll be damned. It seems the stories were true after all."

Kunikida, his composure cracking, grabbed onto Atsushi's arm. "This is impossible! Ghosts aren't real! They can't be real!"

As more spectral figures began to appear, the group found themselves huddled together, back-to-back in a circle.

"Any brilliant ideas?" Nazuna hissed, electricity arcing around her in a protective shield.

"We could always ask them to join us for a friendly game of poker," Dazai suggested, somehow maintaining his calm demeanor. "I've always wondered if ghosts are good at bluffing."

"This is no time for jokes, Dazai!" Kunikida snapped, his voice an octave higher than usual. "We need a plan! A logical, rational plan to deal with these... these illogical, irrational beings!"

As the ghosts closed in, their moans growing louder, the situation devolved into chaos. Nazuna, all pretense of bravery gone, was alternating between shooting off bolts of electricity and clinging to whoever was nearest. Kunikida had abandoned his notebook and was reciting what sounded like every exorcism rite he'd ever heard of. Atsushi, in a panic, had partially transformed, his tiger ears and tail popping out involuntarily.

And Dazai? He was laughing, thoroughly enjoying the mayhem around him. "My, my," he chuckled, "if I'd known ghosts could cause this much entertainment, I'd have suggested ghost hunting as a team-building exercise ages ago!"

Just as it seemed things couldn't get any more chaotic, a new voice cut through the pandemonium. "What in the world is going on here?"

Everyone froze, ghosts included. There, standing in the doorway with a very unamused expression, was Ranpo Edogawa.

"Ranpo-san?" Atsushi squeaked. "What are you doing here?"

Ranpo sighed, pushing up his glasses. "Solving the case you all seem to have forgotten about. The missing person? Ring any bells?"

With a few quick deductions, Ranpo explained that the "ghosts" were actually elaborate holograms created by the missing person - an ability user with a flair for the dramatic who had been testing a new haunted house attraction.

As the holograms flickered out and the missing person was led away, thoroughly chastised by Ranpo, the group stood in stunned silence.

Finally, Nazuna spoke up, her voice small. "So... no real ghosts then?"

"No real ghosts," Ranpo confirmed. "Though I must say, your reactions were quite... spirited."

The tension broke, and suddenly everyone was laughing - a slightly hysterical, relief-filled laughter that echoed through the empty hospital halls.

As they made their way back to the agency, thoroughly embarrassed but secretly glad for the adventure, Dazai couldn't resist one last jab.

"So, Nazuna-chan," he grinned, "still don't believe in ghosts?"

Nazuna, her dignity somewhat restored, lifted her chin defiantly. "Of course not. I was just... playing along. For the sake of the investigation."

"Of course you were," Dazai nodded, his eyes twinkling. "And I'm sure Kunikida-kun's exorcism attempts were also part of his carefully planned investigative strategy?"

Kunikida, still looking a bit pale, adjusted his glasses. "I was merely... covering all our bases. One can never be too prepared."

As they bantered back and forth, the stress of the evening melting away into fond memories and future teasing material, Nazuna couldn't help but smile. It might not have been the relaxing evening she'd initially wanted, but it had certainly cured her boredom.

And if she slept with the lights on for the next week, well... that was just a coincidence. After all, everyone knew there was no such thing as ghosts. Right?

End of Chapter