That year in 6th grade, things were starting to look better for me.
Mom and Dad were still fighting of course, but people had finally started being nicer to me. I mean, ignoring someone's existence is still pretty rude, but it's better than constant harassment I suppose.
Regardless, I took it as a win.
But there was this one, very difficult thing. That "thing" was a girl. She was no ordinary girl, she was smart, pretty... and nice.
She was nice to me. I didn't know how to respond to it, honestly. But... I liked it.
Now that I'm older, I realize that I was in love with her the whole time, but back in 6th grade I refused to believe a girl liking a girl was allowed.
I come from very accepting people, so it's not that I was told a girl can't like a girl. It was that everywhere else outside of my home said a girl can't like a girl. The internet, my classmates, etc.
This was a point in time where queer stuff was still not that accepted. People would claim to be "okay" with it, but the minute they came across it themselves they'd throw a fit.
But anyway, this girl.
She was everything I wanted to be, she had all of the friends that I never did. But because of that, her friends pulled her away from me.
And this completely shattered my heart. Eventually, I did realize that I liked her. In fact, I told her so underneath the slide on the last day of school that year during recess. (She was moving away anyway, so I planned for it to backfire. If she likes me back, cool! Nobody will know. If she doesn't, I'll never have to see her again)
What I wasn't prepared for, was for her to yell at the top of her lungs, "You can't like a girl, stupid! You're disgusting."
They heard her. Everybody heard her. They all knew.
What do I do? What do I say?
I ran inside, tears streaming down my face. I've experienced embarrassment before, but I don't think any embarrassing moment had hit me this hard before.
It felt like someone lugged a sack of sharpened bricks through my heart and my stomach.
I cried for a really long time that night.
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You Can Call Me Emery
Random"You Can Call Me Emery" is a story that follows the life of an aspiring artist, , who is now preparing for college. She begins to think back on her life, wondering if she's chosen the right path. Will you join her on her journey of self discovering...
