August// h.s.

2

"you're in love, heartbroken, or both.

lying there restless

watching the night bleed into the morning

wishing you had more hours to rest" - on most nights. r.h. Sin

***

Rylie Donavan

July 31st

Dear Nathan,

Hi, honey. Today is my first full day in LA and I'm so excited. I love it here already. I'm still waiting to hear from you. I've already made another friend besides Willow. Her name is Faith, and she works in the mailroom. She also happens to work at a bar down by my job, which by the way I start tomorrow. I'm super nervous, but I'm hoping it will be an easy job. I can't wait to tell you about it! I love you!

-Rylie.

I take an envelope from Willows collection and seal it shut. I get up from the bed, make my way out of my dorm room and down the flight of stairs towards the mailroom. When I walk in, I see a blonde male stood behind Faith against the window. He was very involved in whatever he was doing on his phone.

"Hey, Faith." I say, alerting her that I have walked into the room. She looks up from her desk and then quickly behind her to see if that man was still standing back there. She then adverts her attention back to me.

"Hi, Rylie! You got more mail for me?" She asks and I laugh and nod. Faith has been nothing but a sweetheart to me since I've met her. I envy it a little bit; this place is already making me feel burnt out.

"Yes, I do! Has anything came for me yet?"

"Not that I've seen." She frowns, "Are you waiting for him to write?"

"Yeah, which I'm sure he has, I just haven't got it yet." I try to speak confidently. The man behind her shifts and both our attentions are drawn to him.

"Oh, how rude of me." Faith says politely, "Rylie, this is Niall. He's the one that got me this job."

"Hi." I say to him.

"Hey." He speaks bluntly, I had to stop myself from dropping my face. Faith rolls her eyes and turns away from him.

"What're your plans for the day?" She asks me.

"I'm not sure, I'll probably just stay in my dorm and lay around, see if Nathan calls, mentally prepare myself for my first day at the library tomorrow."

"Well, if you get bored, just come down here and see me. We can throw shit at Niall." I laugh at her suggestion, and I look over and see Niall rolling his eyes at us while continuing to scroll on his phone.

I wave goodbye to Faith and walk back up to my dorm. When I get inside, Willow is sitting on her bed scrolling through her phone.

"Hey!" I say to her with a smile. She looks up and smiles back at me. I walk over to my bed and plop down on the mattress. I grab my phone from my pocket and start scrolling through my social media when a post catches my eye.

"Received 3 letters and an invite to my sons Navy graduation today! We miss you so much Nathan and we can't wait to see your face again."

My heart sinks to my stomach. His mother got letters and an invitation, and I haven't received shit since the first week he got there. I screen shot the post and save it for later. I turn my phone off and stare up at the ceiling.

After everything I've done for Nathan, he can't even write to me. I know deep down I deserve so much better, but the memories I have with him are enough to make me stay. He hasn't always been the best person to me, and never really cared to listen when I spoke about the things I went through as a kid. Nathan is the type of person that isn't healthy for anyone, and I'm very aware of that, but I always thought maybe I could fix that. But how can you fix something that doesn't want to be fixed. I've been through a lot with Nathan, and I don't think it will ever be easy to let that go.