lestappen (charles leclerc x max verstappen)

realisation (max)

it had been some time since the last race, i dont know why i feel these feelings about him, i know its wrong, so wrong. but i feel like were meant to be together, forever, and always. i can only hope that he feels the same about me.

i still make sure to see him before every race, and even when we arent racing. we hang out a lot outside of races. this time ive spent with him has only caused my feelings to grow for him. why do i feel this way? should i feel this way? does he feel the same? are the questions that run through my mind constantly they dont stop, not even when im racing, training, anything that requries the tiniest bit of brain power is over thrown by these questions, and memories of him and i. i feel so strongly for him, and i only hope he feels the same.

i have thought about asking him if he feels the same, so many times. but how do i know these feelings are really what i think they are and not just an extreme admiration of him and how far we've come together? I've thought about confiding in lando, and carlos but what if they tell him? what will i do then? its only been a month of feeling like this, maybe itll all go away? everytime i see him my cheeks burn up and i cant help but smile at him largely, i want to tell him i love him, and how greatful i am for him and everything we've done together, and how much i just dont want to lose him. forget it, im in love with charles leclerc.

*the next day*

i didnt sleep last night. not at all. i tried and tried but i couldnt stop thinking about him. i think i should tell him how i feel. i mean there are signs, i see the way he looks at me when were on the podium together, and when we hang out, and he always touches my shoulder in that comforting way. maybe thats just how hes friendly with people. but i cant deny how i feel for him any longer, and i wont continue to deny it.

i asked him to hang out today, not because im going to tell him how i feel or anything, just to figure out if hes actually in love with me too, or if hes just acting like my friend and im just a fool for him. i made sure i smelt nice, looked nice all that stuff, as well as my house, it was a mess ever since i had fallen into this cycle of wondering if he was really in love with me or not, if i should tell him, tell someone else, and then looking for signs. over and over and over and over again i thought this same process everyday since last week. my feelings had only grown everyday i saw him, i would be lying if i said i didnt see myself with him for a long time in the future, together, with everything we could ever wa-. oh, hes here now.

as i open the door i cant help but smile as i see him standing there, looking perfect.

"hey!"

"whats up!" he walks into my house and takes a spot on the couch and we immediatly get to talking. our conversations just seemed to flow so naturally, he always had something to talk about and i always had something to say back. it didnt matter what it was, we had something. as our conversation progresses he shuffled closer too me, inch by inch. i decided to joke with him and ask him if he missed me that much, but his reply caught me off guard.

"maybe i did, maybe i missed you"

we both chuckle at the comment

"i missed you too charles" i joke with him, although i dont mean it as a joke, i cant help but wonder if he took it as one, if he did then im okay with that, but if he didnt then, who knows how i feels now. after some time i decide to make a small move on him, nothing too big. i just decided to rest my head on his shoulder, we had done this before, after bad races or things that had gone wrong. but this time, nothing had gone wrong, everything was okay, i was just in love with him, and unsure of if he loved me back.

"tired?" he asks me

"yeah.. yeah i am actually"

"you do know you could ask me to leave so you could sleep, max"

"no no, you came all this way, charles, ill make dinner soon"

"max, i live literally 10 minutes from you, and i can cook for you, im not the best at it but you know i can cook"

"well, if you want too cook then you can, im not against that at all."

"well i will in just a moment then" he doesnt move for 5 minutes, my head still on his shoulder, and his head gently on top of mine too. it was something i think ill cherish for a long time, but i couldnt help but wonder if he was uncomfortable so he just decided to do that, or if he felt the same thing i was feeling. love. i was feeling love.

he made one of the best things i had ever eaten in my life. pasta, basic i know, but it was different, it had this amazing taste about it and it was just made to perfection, you know, a dish so simple, yet one that i would serve in a michelin star restaurant.

"charles, for a shit cook you did a fucking good job"

he chuckles and replies with "im only a good cook because i made it for you, max"

god i loved how he paused before he said my name, and that whole comment made me fall even more in love with him, as well as this dish he made. i felt like he felt similar to me, the only question was did he feel the same, or did he feel it more than i did, or did he not feel it at all. by now it was dark out, and i knew i couldnt keep him long, he was tired, so was i, i wanted to offer for him to stay the night, but it was just such a long shot that i felt i shouldnt try it yet.

"hey i might head home soon, thanks for today, endlessly, come over to mine tommorow? itll be just you and me"

i felt a sudden rush of happiness as he invited me over "yep, sounds good, 10:30?"

"yeah thats good, im going to get going now, ill see you in the morning, and if im not awake use the key and let yourself in"

"okay, bye thanks for dinner"

"bye, max" as he leaves he smiles at me and pulls me in for a hug. as soon as the door closed i silently screamed. surely, surely he felt the same for me, he made me dinner, he did everything people do when their in love, i could only hope that he felt the same for me as i did about him, maybe ill confess too him soon, very soon. but for now, i know im in love with him.

as im about to go to bed i see a message from him

"i had a lot of fun with you today"

what? we just sat there? although i smiled, does that mean he had fun being with me? a million more thoughts went through my head at once. and that was the moment, i decided to tell him how i felt.