lestappen (charles leclerc x max verstappen)

confession (charles)

all day i was preparing for the confession, i was feeling confident. okay, thats a lie, im fucking terrified. i made sure i looked even more perfect than i usually did, made sure i cooked for him, made sure the house was nice. everything perfect. i even put some music on, just to set a vibe i put on some of the beatles, mamas and the papas, just some older more relaxed music to make the space feel cozier. the time was about 10am, i had half an hour to be absolutely perfect for the day. and if all went well maybe the night too? maybe im just thinking wishfully, that he'll say yes, and then we can have this cute relationship where we only love eachother, its honest, its perfect, its.. okay im getting ahead of myself here, but i see something with him, maybe even a family, 3 kids, a nice family house. thats all i want. 

finally 10:30 rolled around and i was expecting max to be there rather soon. i layed on the couch as 'dream a little dream of me' began playing. i found myself daydreaming about max and i, cringe i know, but i couldnt help it. i was lost in such a thought that i almost missed the sounds of max knocking on the door. i jumped up to open it and before doing so, took a deep breath and opened it. again his face instantly lit up with the most beautiful smile i had ever seen. it was infectious to me, i loved it. i let him in and we sat down talking as usual, after what felt like just a minute had turned into an hour of the most pure conversation, i decided to wait just a few more hours to ask him, i wanted the scene to be perfect, i had made dinner for the two of us, i wanted it to be sunset, and then after our dinner id ask him, i had set up for the song we shared the same love for to play at that time, the song i chose was one of the most beautiful songs i had ever heard, and one that i cherish as he likes it as well i made sure that song played halfway through sunset. i imagined it like this in my mind, we eat dinner on the balcony, as sunset would have started 15 minutes prior, as we eat ill have the songs playing still, as we eat we talk, admire the view, after were both done eating ill wait for the song to start playing, however before hand ill make a small speech about how much i appreciate him, and as the song starts to play i ask him. and then the rest is determined on how he reacts too it. 

so its dinner now, the sunset was just perfect for the night. we just finished our meals and were talking the night away. and as if it couldnt come soon enough, the song i had chosen was about to play. i switched the topic of the conversation with something that maybe wasnt the best to say to change the topic but, whats done is done. "hey max.. ive got something to tell you" his face dropped at me like he was concerned for me, like i was about to tell him i was dying. 

"charles? are you okay, im here for you"

"no no no im fine max, i just have something to tell you, that might change the whole dynamic of us." after i said that the song began to play, his face lit up slightly again

"hey, you know i love dream a little dream of me, this is my favourite song by them!"

"yeah.. i know you love it max, ive known you my whole life, i could never forget"

"so what were you going to tell me?"

i took a breath and spoke gently "i know this changes everything between us and i hope it changes it in a good way, but i have feelings for you, not just feelings of admiration and all, but feelings of love. im in love with you. so in love with you." i say, expecting a worse reaction. but all he did was smile at me, i couldnt tell if he was just trying to be nice to me, or if he felt the same. 

"oh charles, me too, i thought it would change everything between us if i told you" we both stand up and hug tightly. i couldnt believe it. and as if the night couldnt get any better, he kissed me. it was amazing, i-. im truly at a loss for words, at just how happy i am right now. i decided to invite him to stay the night, to which he happily accepted. and AS IF this day couldnt get a spec better, we cuddled all night long, late into the night, watching movies, talking, everything, until i fell asleep in his arms, on my bed, with the one person i couldnt wait any longer to be with. i think today was the best day of my life. the only part left now, was hiding it. which i didnt really want to do, but we both understood it had to be done for the sake of our careers, reputations, and overall life. 

it was going to be hard racing too. so we had to agree to not let our relationship affect how we race, because if we didnt do what we were doing before, im sure our coaches, fans, and media would make countless remarks about it. which of course cant happen, i think we both knew this though, and it was going to be hard. worth it, but extremely difficult to pull off.