My Roman Empire

~just a hoax~

What ..? I said to myself.

Am I seeing things?I had put my phone away after reading such things. Am I actually going insane?

My hands started sweating. I took the phone and looked at the screen. It was indeed him. His contact wasn't saved but I would know it's him, because that's how it was for us. Every single fight I'd block him,or delete everything,and he would text like this.

But I wasn't going to think about it.
I texted " Why have you texted me after 3 years?".

I put the phone away as I thought about it. The timing was impeccable. Almost as if he knew,but how will he? I'm not supposed to be paranoid,am I? But then for some reason he'd always text me at weird timings. Like the one time I just found him buying cigarettes at a department store near my house or the time I suddenly saw him at a gas station after not being in contact. But we are cities apart and it's been 2 years and he wasn't that type. He had too much self respect... I'd say....

The phone vibrated. I immediately looked at it. God,why am I so interested? Or am I nervous?

"I texted just because there's a school reunion and the people from school had no contact with you. They thought we were still talking,and though I had no interest I decided to ask if you remembered me. Did you?"

These people follow me on instagram. What do they mean by no contact? Weirdos. They had always been so high off because I was introverted and never paid attention to their derogatory remarks about me.

I knew he was smirking after writing this bullshit. I just knew he was.

"Alright, I'll see. When is it?" I replied.

"First tell me, did you forget me? " He texted.

"Shut up, Adam. I know you are toying around. Just tell me the timing."I replied.

"It's on Tuesday. 9'o clock sharp. They said we'll go to a nearby restaurant from the school only." He texted.

"Thanks."

That's all. He shouldn't text after that.. right?

The phone blipped. And my hands moved faster than the speed of light. I knew this was not the right behaviour for me. But...I wanted to know.

"Alright,see you there, Leah ."

See you there? What do you mean? As if I'd come, asshole. School fuckers wanted nothing but to look at my chest, the girls hated me for no reason, and he wouldn't give a shit about it. He just wanted to disturb me.

"What makes you think I'll come?" I typed. Should I text this? Should I? Without a second thought I hit send. I never had to hold back when it came to him. And I would never know why.

"Your choice. But now you have said this,if you do come,don't tempt me to go down that same path again. " He texted.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

"You-" I started typing,but I stopped. No. It's been two years. 4 years of nothing working out. Constant fights,two people,one in irrevocable love and another-the other one was me. I could never love him. Or could understand if I did.

I was happy he texted me. I hated my own audacity.

My phone blipped. Again.

I looked at it with eyes that could remember how he'd look at me. And the way he smelled,but he could never know that.

He could never know my thoughts. Never.

"I will be looking forward to seeing you,Leah."

That's it. That's all he had to say. Fuck. What am I doing? I literally am still in love with Evans. Leah stop.

I won't go. I won't go. But ..

"I wish I could touch you,hold you,make you mine and I will do everything for you forever.."

Momentary weakness. That's what it is.

I reached out to my schedule. I have time that day. But should I go?

This might be the most fucked up thing ever. What if...no. Four years of nothing. Online bickering,two children,one with the ego of a woman and another that of a man. That's what I'd call it.

My phone vibrated again. I hurriedly held it up only to see a text from Evans.

I don't even wanna see it. What the fuck has my relationship come to? I really really didn't wanna see it.

"Leah, please talk to me. I'll come to your house." He had texted.

Then he started calling.

Fuck you Evans.

I cut the call and texted him,"Not now, I'm a friend's house."

"Which friend?"he texted.

I didn't wanna reply. He must have called me like 20 times after that. But I slept with barely any clothes on.

I woke up to an alarm. It was late. I didn't wanna go to office today. Maybe I should take work from home.
I looked at my phone but I didn't wanna look at notifications from Evans.

I sat down to work. I looked bad. My eyes were puffy and my face bloated. This is how I'll show up to the reunion?

No. As if I'm going. Then suddenly,I felt like crying. Before I knew,I was crying. This was a common occurrence nowadays. I have never tried therapy,but I think I should. Why does my heart hurt?

Love that's lost,comes back in waves,like pricking your fingers on a dried rose you loved so dearly.

I did love Evans. But I think sometimes grief shows itself in different forms.

Forget it, I don't have time for this. I thought to myself.

But what should I wear for the reunion?

"Leah, shut up and do work. "

But isn't it tomorrow? Should...I ...go and leave quickly? Not that I have anyone close there.

I quickly messaged my best friend back from school, Alexa. I still talk to her and she lives in a different city. We don't talk that much anymore but when we meet it feels good. Sometimes the best people are always living in a different city. But,she was there through it all. She knows things I haven't told anyone else about it. Same goes for her I think.

"Are you coming to the reunion,Lex?" I texted.

"Oh, yeah maybe. I actually have to come to the city to meet mom and dad. I was gonna ask you too. Are you coming?" She replied.

"Maybe for a while, if you'd come I'll come." I replied.

"Okay then I'll tell you by today. " She replied.

She has way more work than me, but if she comes, it'll be bearable. And I won't feel weird. Right?

Anyway,time to focus on work.

Oh god, I really shouldn't have gone.