Left Behind & Forgotten ( A Shane Dawson Fan-Fic)

Chapter 1 : Our beginning

~Aria

I've always felt like my life was a dream... something i could wake up from and forget about about the next day. something just out of reach... i wished at time so hard that it was a dream. the only thing in my life im glad was real was Shane. Shane was my best friend and the love of my life. he was sweet charming, sweet, funny, and he always cared even if it was the stupidest thing. he always made me smile and never put me before anyone. but it killed me to see him struggle to make himself happy.

Growing up he never had much.  His father was an abusive alcoholic and left when Shane was a kid. his mom worked hard but it was hard for her being a single mother and only having the one income to pay the bills and take care of her three children. on top of this he was bullied a lot, mostly for his weight.  he always tried to hide how upset he was but i always knew. i could see in his eyes how much pain he was in. and i know he saw the same pain when he looked into mine.

I lost both of my parents at the age of 5. My mother was diagnosed with leukemia when i was 4 and died a few months before my 6th birthday. A month after that I lost my dad to suicide. His death certificate says he died of a gun shot to the chest , but it should say he died of a broken heart. My mom was his world and without her there was no world left for him

I hated him for leaving me for such a long time. It wasn't until i met Shane that i started to forgive him. As i slowly fell for Shane the more i felt gravity slip away. i realized one day that i couldn't live without him. I never fully forgave my dad but i understood finally him.

After my parents died I went to live with my aunt and uncle in long beach California, They are very patent people, having to raise a grieving troubled girl who had no respect for authority. I was the exact definitive of a rebellious teen. I was broken. And just like humpty dumpty I never thought I would be put back together again.

I've always felt like broken people attract each other. maybe hoping that the 2 broken pieces would make a whole. with Shane i felt whole. but even when i felt whole i could still feel the slivers of pain ripping into me. i knew Shane was the same,  the only difference was that he knew how to hide it. He would smile' joke around and his laugh was contagious. He never let people see his other side. The side of him that was drowning in pain.

i met Shane for the first time when I walked into the men's room on accident and found him crouched over the toilet. He was doing the same thing I did 3 times a day; and that broke my heart. I couldn't let him fall down that path like I had. I was with him the first time he binged and I was there the last. And he sat by my side as I recovered.

It started off friendly. Then a glance turned into a stare...and then i started to feel a hand in mine, making every nerve in it come alive. I don't think ill ever understand how something so right fell apart. Ill never understand how i left....and how he could  let me leave...

He was my first love...and as far as i'm concerned he will be the only guy ill ever loved.

~Shane

I was 6 the first time I saw her. My mom and I were driving to the store and there she was. A raven haired beauty even at 6. Her skin was almost whiter than mine, but on her it looks perfect. her eyes were an ocean blue and she had straight black hair down to her waist. I saw her there for 5 seconds at most but i can still remember every detail. I think the thing that stayed with me the most was how sad thouse blue eyes were.

In the fall she ended up being in my class. She sat 3 seats away from me but I never spoke a word to her. She intimidated me. She always seemed older than every other kid and that made her stand out. She never hung out with any of the kids, i'm not sure if it's because the others thought she was intimidation too or that she just wanted to be alone.

For years I watched her, to afraid to introduce myself. Not that she ever noticed me. I was just the fat kid who made weird videos. It wasn't until 10th grade when we officially met.

Somebody had commented on my weight... again. I went to the bathroom room and looked in the mirror and just thought "they're right". I did something I never thought I would do, I binged. Right when I was doing it somebody walked into the bathroom. I panicked but there was nothing I could do. I looked up and saw her. The girl of my dreams looking at me in a way I never saw her look before. I thought "great now she knows me as the bulimic fat kid". I thought that she was going to laugh or make a rude comment like everybody else but she didn't. She knelled down beside me and wordlessly  brushed my hair out of my face and hugged me.

I had no idea why she did this. She and i have never even met but here she was. And i broke down and cried. The girl i have had a crush on my whole life was holding me as I cried after she watched me make myself puke. Not ideal.

She looked different now. Her long black hair was longer and had purple streaked through it. Her blue eyes had purple contacts in them and black mascara on her eyelashes. She wore black a lot and always had chains clipped to her jeans or a half shirt on. But her eyes were still sad every time you looked in them.

I loved this girl. I have always loved this girl but I never imagined that she would even want to be my friend. But she did. eventually friendly hugs didn't feel so friendly. We would get lost in each others eyes, our hands would touch just a moment to long...It was everything I ever dreamed. The girl who never smiled turned into the girl that smiled when she saw me and laughed at my jokes. The girl who blocked out the world let me in.

We were happy.

we were in love

and then it was gone.