A Piece of My Mind

Always you

 Days like this used to be my favorite ones. Days where there's a chill in the air, but not too chilly to be considered cold nor too weak of a chill to go unnoticed, just the right breeze. The sky is cloudy, but they're not aggressive clouds, although their grayness hides the sun, they show us a much better spectacle when the latter one decides to fall and her sister rises; I believe these type of days are friends with pragmatism, you can wear whatever you want and you will be comfortable. I loved these kinds of days due to their uniqueness, they're very special and hard to describe, you just have to be there and feel it, the breeze in the air brings a harmony you can only truly explain when you sit beside someone. These days, they're perfect. I also loved these days because of you. I loved these kinds of days because I loved you.

 I still remember, and I always will, how we were always together in these types of days. Sitting on the grass, side by side, just chatting the afternoon away, if the sun could see us, he would smile, we didn't mind though, we waved him goodbye everytime he left and just admired the sky until it was dark. I remember how I made you laugh and we burst out laughing until our stomachs hurt. When we stopped, you looked into my eyes, I gazed into yours and I swear I still want to live in that moment, inside your eyes, when I saw myself and everything I needed. Time stopped. You stopped. I stopped. Your light brown eyes, your brown hair, suddenly it looked like you trapped me, locked me away from the world, it was like nothing else mattered, because everything that mattered was right in front of my eyes, and I wanted to be trapped. I noticed you were breathing through your mouth, slightly opened, waiting for something, staring at me, inviting me in, in a twisted and seduceful way. I was so astonished I must have moved on my own, slowly and steady, not knowing what I was doing but only knowing it was the right thing to do, actually, the only thing I wanted to do, and when my lips met your soft, gentle lips, I knew, I knew I loved you.

 The world was one for a moment, a brief, eternal, moment. When I was set free I could've sworn more than a thousand years had passed, the world was so different, everything was more colorful than before, you were shining to me and I wanted to die in the holes of your cheeks, to live in the glow of your eyes, to breathe the smell of your hair everyday, until the day they take me somewhere far away from here. I used to run through these streets with a smile on my face, I used to blush everytime the image of your face popped in my head, I used to sleep anxious to wake up if that meant seeing you again. I used to enjoy love.

 These types of stories are like those types of days. Unique. Special. Hard to describe but amazing to feel. However, there's always a but. There's always something people don't usually tell you about these types of stories: some don't get told. Our story is one of those, our story is one of those who fell into oblivion and everyone rushes to forget. Not me, though, because it almost cost my life to just live it. Our story started like any other of two innocent teenagers and ended with both of us getting hurt, I wish I knew when was the last time you and I were together, that way I would stay just a bit longer, feel things a bit longer. That's not possible anymore. Now, those days feel like any other. Now, I watch the sunset alone. Now, after losing myself just to win me back, I stand on my own two feet and a squared circle on my heart, knowing I live carrying a boulder even Sisyphus would be impressed.

 You broke me, tore me apart to pieces and it took a long time until I picked all of them and rearranged them. However, the thing that hurts me the most is, to this day, I would give up everything to live forever in the moment my lips met yours for the first time.

 You were the worst thing that ever happened to me.

 You were the best thing that ever happened to me.

photo by: Lloyd (leweeg10)