Losing control

I've never been more sure

Selena POV :

I was early. I wanted to make sure I didn't miss her.

I sat down at a secluded table so that we could talk without risking being overheard. I couldn't help but pinch my skin to try and put some weight on something else.

Would I have the strength to hear what she had to say?

"You're early," said Demi before sitting down opposite me. She looked tired and her jacket, which had once fit her perfectly, was now too big for her. But she was as stunning as ever, and if I listened to my heart I'd have thrown myself at her feet.

"Yes, I know you like punctuality.

Her face lit up with a slight smile and then she opened the cocktail menu to order us two Bloody Mary.

"Would you like something else?
"No... that's fine".

I played with my straw, watching Demi's every move. The climate was icy and I didn't know whether to start talking or let her do the honours.

"It's weird seeing you after all this time... How's your life been since then? Did you figure out what you were going to do?

"I've missed seeing you... well I passed all my exams with flying colours and I've been waiting to hear back from the universities ever since".

"Congratulations! I hope you get the university you want. And er... I'm relieved you're even a little bit happy to see me."

"And you ....?"

"If I'm happy to see you or what's going on in my life?"

" Yes... well both "

"hm well, everything's going well at work and otherwise my life hasn't changed much. Oh hm, I've adopted a dog! His name is Batman."

"Oh that's great! I'm so happy for you."

"And of course I'm happy to see you... I know it's all my fault and you've every right to be angry with me still but... if you've ever forgiven me, I'd really like to try and make it up to you... but if that's not an option for you, I'd like to know."

Was she giving me an ultimatum? Either I forgive her and we try to move on, or she draws a line under our relationship? I was quite surprised to learn that she was still open to try something with me after all this time without news. That wasn't her style. Maybe our relationship really was different to her and she didn't want to risk losing me? Just like she was to me. I think I'd already forgiven her, in fact. But I was just too much of a coward to get her back and look her in the eye after abandoning her two months ago.

"I've... I've already forgiven you... and I think I'd really like to try and put things back together again. But no more lies..."

"Are you sure?" Demi asked, her eyes full of hope.

"I've never been more sure."

"Ahhh!I promise no more lies... only if I want to surprise you!

"That's a good start," I said, laughing, before putting my hand on Demi's. Our hands touched. Our hands touched and my whole body received electric shocks. I wanted to kiss her so badly. To shout from the rooftops that she was mine. But as usual I chickened out.

"Well... I'll have to go. And you've probably got other things to do" said Demi, getting up.

"Wait... When can I see you again?"

"Whenever you like."

~

"Who are you smiling at when you text?" My mum asked.