What will happen to us? ☙bkdk☙

not good -1-

Izuku sat on his bathroom floor staring at his thighs. He had promised Katsuki to stop. He promised never to do this again. What was he thinking?

He wanted to call his boyfriend. He needed to, but he was asleep; surely. Katsuki is strict about his sleeping schedule and if he woke up to Izukus relapse he wouldn't be happy. Izuku couldn't do that to him.

He sat on the floor for a good 45 minutes before standing up to clean himself off. He put his razor up and the stinging cuts hurt to walk on. After lazily cleaning up the blood, he looked at himself in his dirty mirror and eyed the cuts. They weren't inflamed yet, Katsuki would for sure notice them eventually though. Izuku started to cry, he didn't know why he did this. He told Katsuki he would stop and here he is breaking his own words.

Izuku had a bad past with self-harm. In middle school it was particularly bad. Izuku almost died, bleeding out in the Aldera school bathroom when Katsuki fount him; and saved him. Ever since then, they've became closer and lenient on each other. Eventually the bond they had turned into a relationship. Katsuki was the one to confess, and Izuku accepted his confession, as he felt the same for months, hell even years. It's been a little over a year since they began dating, and Izuku had been clean for 10 months. What 16 year old does this? Katsuki was always there for him to speak to and help when he was feeling upset and guilty about something he felt the need to hurt himself about. Katsuki would always know what to do, Izuku doesn't know how but he would always know exactly what to do and say.

Katsuki and Izuku needed each other. Izuku felt truly safe with the older boy. He doesn't know how to tell him about his relapse. It kills him to think about his boyfriend's face when he finds out. It makes him feel sick to think about. What if he breaks up with him? Would he still love him? What about intimately? Katsuki for sure wouldn't want to see scarred and cut skin, that's ugly, and a turn off. All these thoughts rushed through Izukus mind, he just wanted this to be over. He went back to his room and wiped his eyes. He got into his bed and turned to the wall to lay down. Tomorrow he could deal with this, he needs sleep. He felt guilty, so guilty.

He woke up around 5:20, way earlier than his alarm should've gone off. He tried to fall back asleep but he couldn't. He decided to text Katsuki, hating himself for this, but he needed to talk to him. He felt so bad, so so bad.

Izuku:
"Good morning Kacchan"-5:21AM
"Are you awake?" -5:22AM

Katsuki:
"Now I am, what's up Izuku? You shouldn't be awake this early." -5:24AM

Izuku:
"Please come to my dorm, I need you." -5:24 AM

Katsuki:
"Give me 5" -5:25AM
"What's going on?" -5:25AM
"Izuku?" -5:27AM
"Izuku you're scaring me" -5:29AM
"Baby I'm here, open your door" -5:30AM

Izuku got up and winced at the stinging of his thighs as he stood up. It's truly been too long. He opened his door. Katsuki walked in pulled him into a hug as he leaned back on the door to close it.

"Izuku what's going on? It's early and you stopped responding.." Katsuki says as he pulls away and puts his hands on Izukus shoulders. He was frowning. Not good.

"I'm sorry. I just.. I wanted to talk to you because..-" before Izuku could continue, Katsuki wiped the tears running down his soft cheeks. He was crying. Even worse, he was worrying Katsuki.

"Kacchan, I relapsed, i'm so sorry." Izuku leaned his head into Katsukis chest as he cried. Katsuki sighed and put his right hand on Izukus head, playing with his curls.

"Baby don't cry, you're okay. It'll be okay. Let's sit on your bed, alright?" The blond said. He tried to stay strong for Izuku, in the inside he was broken and trying to figure out what went wrong for this to happen. Izuku was doing so well.