dear little doe, twd

003. { jellybeans and bad men }

Dad spoke to me a lot on the car ride over. He kept telling me what to do, and how to do it. He insisted I stayed out of his way, but said to stay by his side, which confused me. He was also talking to T-dog, about Merle. But he just kept saying that Merle would be fine, and the only thing getting through the door was us.                                                                      

I believed him, only to stop my stomach from hurting.

"We walk from here," Glenn said, turning the engine off. Dad was the first to his feet, scrambling to open the door. He lifted it, instantly hopping out. The sun pierced my eyes while I struggled to my feet, T-dog attempting to help me. Dad quickly noticed him trying to help and grabbed my arm, pulling me to the end of the van while glaring at T-dog.

I get that T-dog dropped the key, but it was an accident. So he says. Dad's just taking his anger out on him I guess. Just glad it ain't me.

"C'mon," Dad whispers, keeping his hand on my back. The others had already run ahead, slipping through the gate. Im already slowing them down.

I wasn't tired by the time we reached the hole in the fence. My mind was distracted by all the buildings. I haven't been in a city, not once. I wish we had time to pretend we were normal people, living here. But we didn't, we had to go save Merle instead.

Rick was the first to slip through the hole and stepping over the guard rail, I was trying to be faster so I rushed in next, trying to stay ahead.

"Merle first, or guns?" Rick says, walking backwards as the others ducked through the fence.

"Merle! We ain't even having this conversation." Dad snarled, rushing ahead. I wasn't gonna agree with him, so I stayed quiet. We could use Merle, to help us get the guns. But we could also use the guns to save Merle. It's impossible to choose.

But Im just a kid, I don't know nothing.

"We are." Rick glares at Dad. "You know the geography. It's your call." Rick says, turning back at Glenn as they start jogging. I held onto Dad's belt loop, making sure I stayed close.

"Merles closest. The guns would mean doubling back." Glenn says. "Merle first."

It only takes us a few minutes to find the alleyway. Maybe cause we're running. Following it down, we reach a main street, quickly slipping inside a clothing store. Im guessing it's the building they were in a few days ago.

It was clear Rick wanted us to be quiet, he was whispering, making sure we stayed with him. I pull my knife out of its sheath, gripping the handle tight. Slightly bent down, Rick points to a walker at the back of the store. Dad takes this chance to get in front of Rick, aiming his crossbow at the walker who was getting closer and closer, dragging its feet against the floor.

He mumbles something under his breath, I didn't hear it. Im sure it was nothing nice. Dad shoots the walker, causing it to thud to the ground. Glenn pushes my shoulder, making me scoot in front of him. Dad gestures for us to get in front, so that's what we do.

I hop over the dead walker, jumping over its arms. Gross.

Rushing up the stairs, my knees already started to hurt. It felt like it went on forever and ever. I wanted to ask Dad to carry me, but he was upset enough already. I didn't want to seem like a crybaby, so I pushed through it even though it felt like my legs were gonna fall off.

Dad pushed through us as we reached the top of the stairs, T-dog used Dale's bolt cutters to get through the chain. As soon as Dad heard the clink of the chain breaking, he didn't hesitate to kick the door, shouting for his brother.