It's been too long. I feel like a crackhead without him. I miss him. Sometimes I think I don't. Then he crosses my mind. He crosses my mind at least once a day. I mishear his name out of other people's mouths. I mistake other people for him from afar, especially without my glasses. I have dreams that are so real, but they're not. I wonder if I cross his mind. I just want to see him, be near him, talk to him. I don't want anyone or anything to interrupt or get in the way. I don't even wanna date him or sexualize him. I just want him with me. I just want to be with him. I don't know why.
I've known him all my life. There's always been something, but it wasn't like this. I just liked chilling with him, even if we never really spoke. His brother called it, maybe two years ago. But I said something that would imply I didn't have anything for him. I wonder if he had something for me then.
I like the way he looks at me. I like looking at him. He wants me to draw him. I haven't finished it because I need to look at him while I do it. Its just how I draw people. I've studied his face. The style he wants me to draw him in is too ugly. I'm struggling to get it right because he's so imperfectly perfect. I feel I'm love with the little details. The way his upper lip slightly folds up when he smiles a real smile. The little pointed windows peak hiding under his curls. His eyes are one of my favorite things about him physically. My most favorite thing about him isn't physical. My favorite thing about him is him. Not how he looks, even if he's really beautiful, but him. I like his eyes because I can see him. I can see most people through their eyes, but I want to look at him.
I haven't seen him. It feels like I haven't seen him in so long. Too long.
