Passion for War

Chapter 1:

Madeleine:

I can feel the weight of the chains around my wrists, tugging on them is pointless. People surround me from every direction but they possess no face which makes this even more so frightening. I can hear the whispers of them, "She betrayed us." "She's a murderer." "What would her family think?" I am aware that this is a dream but what I do not know is how to wake up. My body aches and feels weaker the more I try to break away from the chains.

Sobs break free as I stop fighting and give in, it's hopeless This whole thing is hopeless. "Madeleine Collins you stand trial for-" "No NO NO NO!" I scream as I try and hold my hands to my ears, to block out that voice. That same voice that started this. I cry harder as I realise that this is not going to end anytime soon. "Murderer!" I can't take this again. "Look at what you did to my baby!" I hear a woman's voice scream and involuntarily I look up to find the boy that I killed in order to save Fitz. His lifeless eyes stare at me while his mother cries on his chest. My chest tightens in pain at the scene. "I'm sorry," I mumble as I rest my head of the floor.

"Your punishment is death effected immediately." the voice continues. I hear the growling of a wolf from my left and slowly I lift my head and turn toward the sound. There is a hall from which the noise is coming but it's pitch black. The growling grows louder as it gets closer to me, my heart sinks as its red eyes glow in the dark. I make one more attempt to break free but nothing changes. The wolf soon emerges but before I have time to register its mouth opens wide and envelopes me into its dark mouth. I scream as I feel as searing pain all over my body, like brand marks.

Jolting awake I cry out from the nightmare, still feeling the burning sensation. I scratch at my skin to remove the feeling but it only makes it worse. I feel two giant hands hold my shoulder and fight to remove them, "don't touch me!" I scream but the hands tighten their hold, I hear a familiar voice calling my name but my mind is still in shock and worry. The hands shake me until I come face to face with Fitz.

My heart slowly relaxes but it only breaks as the memories pour in. I notice the scratch marks on his skin, the cuts are extremely deep. I sob as I examine what I did. "I-I'm sorry," I say as I try and choke back a sob. He brushes back some of my hair and it is then that I realise that I am sweating profusely. I watch as is scars heal on their own, the tissue reconnecting until it is fully healed like nothing had damaged it. I look down to examine my hands only to find blood in them, his blood. I cry harder as the reminder of that boy comes into the picture, I killed a boy and never once apologised to his family for it. Instead, his brothers came for me only for them to die as well.

Fitz pulls me into his chest and starts to rub my back soothing me but I cannot seem to calm down. My heart is in turmoil and I feel too much to ignore it. "Please end this," I mumble into his chest. This pain is too much and has been happening almost every night. He pulls me away and a frown overtakes his features, "What?" I know what I want and I want this to end. "Please kill me," I say as fresh new tears fall down my cheeks.

Fitz:

I put Madeleine back to sleep and for the rest of the night, she's peaceful. Her nightmares started a week after Lucian and the Council and since then they have gotten progressively worse. Some nights she simply screams and nights like this? She gets violent, whatever her nightmares are it seems to be affecting her physically more than mentally.

The next day I go to her room to find the door already open. As I enter her maid sets down a tray of food on her lap and quickly leaves once she notices my presence. She has dark circles under her eyes and her body has lost so much colour, she looks frail and on the verge of death. She doesn't make eye contact with me as she stares out the window. Is she ashamed of what she said? Does she even remember?

"How are you feeling?" I finally ask since she refuses to speak first. "Alive," she says as she continues to stare out of the window. I guess she does remember then. "You wish to die?" This catches her attention and she swivels her head towards me, her brown eyes hold no emotion and her lips are pale. She is losing herself in her depression. "I can't regardless," she says with sadness, as if this is disappointing but I suppose it is. "You don't know that," I say trying to get her hopes up but the idea dies the moment she picks up a knife from the tray and holds out her wrist. The sight makes me want to tie her down but I watch nonetheless, she glides the blade across her wrist and red soon pours out. She then places the knife down and holds her wrist up for me to see as it instantly heals itself.

Sighing I walk towards her and hold her wrist up to examine, the scar is completely gone. I see she has been testing her abilities.

"Get ready and meet me downstairs," I say, dropping her hand and walking to the door.