Passion for War

Chapter 6:

Madeleine:

My ears start to hurt as I hear the birds start their noise again. I used to enjoy it but now it has become a nightmare. I used to be able to control it but ever since that night I have no control over abilities. Cole thinks it could be a shock or a scare that is still affecting me. It makes sense but I have a feeling it is something else.

Unfortunately due to that event I was unable to visit my parents the next day but Thea has assured me that today I will be allowed to. A whole week has gone by and I have mostly spent my time indoors, sleeping or staring into space.

I have avoided human touch to a point where not even my hands feel comfortable. Being buried alive does that to you. I could feel the roots slicing my skin and the lack of air and sight only added to my fears. I couldn't move but I felt the earth move around me, suffocating me. And to top it all off I had visions of Anastasia and Fitz. Nobody believes me when I say that there was a wolf in the woods that showed me, according to Fitz it is impossible. Wolves don't ever enter another wolf's territory unless they are looking to take over it.

Staring at myself in the mirror I notice the eyebags have gotten worse this last week. I haven't had much sleep, the nightmares have been keeping me awake. Fitz would normally wake me up and stay with me until I sleep again. After his betrayal, I never thought that I would trust him but I surprised myself and him when I asked him the first night to stay. He never touched me, he simply watched over me and that was all the comfort I needed. Just knowing that there was an evil to match my nightmares was enough.

I skim a hand down my dress, a formal black dress. It matches the gloomy weather as well as the way I am feeling. The longer my hands linger on my body the more uncomfortable. How am I going to live when I can't even handle touching myself? A stray tear falls down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away. I have been crying ever since I arrived here. How many more tears can I shed?

I grab my matching gloves and my hat and make my way out of my room.

As I descend the stairs I find Fitz and Thea waiting for me. Both dressed to match the occasion but mind you Fitz never dresses in bright colours. The moment I am close enough, Thea tries to pull me in for a hug but I instinctively back away, hurt flashes across her face but it's mostly for my sake. She understands that the feel of skin on mine is like the soil of the earth. "Let's go," Fitz says, leaving first.

I am grateful for both Fitz and Thea accompanying me, it was initially supposed to be me and Fitz. When we arrive it has already started drizzling. The cemetery is well kept, the stones are always cleaned but I suppose that's what money can do. "I hope you don't mind but I invited people." Thea looks at me unsure as to how I would take the news. Frowning, I look in the direction of my parents' graves to find my brothers...all three of them. Their backs face me as they stare at the names of our parents. The moment I approach Nathaniel is the first to turn. His eyes widen a fraction before he gives me a small smile. Soon Xavier and Alexanders gazes drift towards me, Xavier's eyes swarming with relief and Alexander's squinting as he examines me. Nathaniel tries to hug me but I back away holding up a hand, "I'm sorry, I just can't touch anyone at the moment." His eyes flash with hurt similar to Theas from earlier but it quickly vanishes.

"How are you sister?" Xavier asks after the awkward exchange, I sigh. I have been asked the same question by everyone and every time it bothers me. Even though I have not seen them in a long time it doesn't change how I feel. I feel dead. The only person who hasn't asked me, is Fitz. "As well as I can be," I say, never making eye contact with them. "You don't look well," Alexander says but his gaze is fixated on Fitz. Turning to face him, I see that Fitz is not at all bothered by my brother's gazes.