Red Ribbon

Chapter Eight

I sulked back to my car, my huffs becoming little puffs of clouds. My eyes stayed downturned the entire way as my mind bussed with the thoughts of nothing. Christmas music jingled nearby which matched perfectly to the decorations of the home. I held in my breath while attempting to ignore the stinging in my eyes and the pressure on my chin, forcing my lips into a deep frown.

Children laughed at the playground that wasn't too far away. A little boy and his younger brother, it seemed. The older one threw snowballs—well, more like messy clusters of snow—at a speed so haste the little one had no chance of matching with his smaller form and weaker arms. The little one's cheeks were so clearly affected by the cold, burning a red so bright it could be mistaken for a sunburn if he wasn't surrounded by the freezing powder.

As the elder boy continued his pommeling, the younger one began to cry mercilessly, raising his chubby little arms high. Both a woman and a man came to check on the kids, the dad taking the boy on his hip. The mother ruffled the other's hair as the boy grinned a most proud smirk. They stood there together in a moment of sweet familial bliss. The holiday glee.

Bah humbug.

A silent tear ran down my face as I continued my stare. Snow crunched behind me, and I hastily wiped the tear away with a soft sniff.

"I'm sure they wouldn't mind you joining in on their snowball fight. Though I must infer that I don't think that would be a fair game," Kallias said, breaking my stare from the festivities. I swiveled to face the man upfront, his blue eyes gleamed a daring silver amongst the late fallen snow.

I had no words for a few seconds; I just gazed at his face. How different things are. His thick brows pushed to create an indent in his forehead while he lightly pulled the side of his lip backward. There was a light stubble to his cheeks and his hair was neatly combed and gelled in place. Kallias stood tall and riddled with protruding muscles. He was certainly a man.

"I used to love Christmas," I blurted out.

Kallias took a second to regard himself before stepping beside me to watch the little kids swarming the playgrounds and building snowmen. He braced his forearms on the fence, beckoning me to follow his actions with a tilt of his head. His jaw set as he focused on the young ones fooling around in the snow, his burly figure looked so odd in comparison to their small stature.

"Christmas is happy. I used to be happy, but life fucks all of us, and now I don't like Christmas," I say in one breath before biting my lip. "I miss it. I miss the waking up at three a.m. for Santa and the excitement for winter break. Granny and I would always make this crazy marshmallow mixture for the reindeer," I smiled brightly, "I was so fooled because she would take the bowl to the neighbor's house and their dogs would lick the bowl clean, leaving it all sticky and... oh my gosh—it was so gross thinking about it now!

"But it was our tradition, I miss having a tradition. Or at least something to look forward to. Now, I guess I'll be spending my holiday here," I turn to lean my back against the fence glancing at the elderly home with a sigh, "No more dog slobber reindeer food, just life. And there's no magic in loneliness."

I saw Kallias turning toward me in my peripheral vision, his suit becoming speckled with the drizzling snowflakes.

"As crazy as it is, sometimes I wish that... well... I didn't have to deal with it. Trying to celebrate when your only family has no recollection of who you are..." A tear fell, "it's the most painful thing in the world."

More snowflakes fluttered down landing on my gloved hands before briskly melting away. Only the pathetic sniffles of my despair riddled through the air. Kallias stood silently and stiff, and for a moment I felt slightly bad for my trauma dumping.