Watching Eyes

Chapter 5

"Hey, open the window!"

Wait is that, is that... Jane?!

I head to the window, still shaking. I push back the curtains and open the window. Jane gets in wearing a black shirt and black leggings.

"What the hell! You fucking scared us!" I whisper yell. I don't want my mom to hear.

"Sorry, sorry, but I just couldn't handle my parents right now and I just needed to be somewhere else. It's like they forgot they had another daughter, first time I've ever been jealous of her. So I decided to go here since you are my only true friends who won't pity. So what's up!"

"Just hanging out and trying to get over my near death experience. Haven't you ever heard of texting?!" I exclaim.

"Hey! Indie go soft on her. It didn't cross her mind, she was probably focusing on her own problems. We didn't die and we aren't hurt."

"I'm sorry, Jane," I mumble. I plop down on a chair next to the window. I didn't mean to be so cold. I just got freaked out. Plus, I'm still having a hard time with the whole Ryder thing. What an asshole? First he calls me ugly and then tries to seduce me?! A real fuckboy, isn't he?

"So can I stay here for the night? I haven't had one good night's sleep in that house because of what happened? I hope it won't be a problem?" Jane is so polite and sweet. She shouldn't have to go through this.

"Let me ask my mom. Start getting comfortable because she usually says yes." I head downstairs and see my mom cooking way. There is a beautiful aroma. If you didn't know, my true passion was food. I loved cooking and baking. I loved everything creative and disliked the logical subjects, like science and math.

"Hey mom, is it ok if Jane and Matt stay over tonight?"

"Matt is ok because I know his parents are fine with it, but with Jane I don't know if her parents will be fine with it."

"They don't, but please mom, she had a fight with them and hasn't been able to sleep since the incident. Don't tell her parents, please." See I can be nice, not often, but it can happen. Plus I know if I don't Twinkle-Butt will start berating me and telling me how I didn't try hard enough.

My mom sighs, "Fine, but if they ask me where she was I won't be lying for you."

"Thanks," I give a peck on my mom's cheek. I love my mom, she and Twinkle-Butt are the only ones who get to see who I really am. Everyone just gets to see the cold front I put up.

I head upstairs and jump onto my bed.

"You can stay over."

"Yay! This is going to be awesome, we can learn more about each other."

"Sure, whatever," I state. She is quite excitable for her sister dying. Maybe she is doing this for her sister, being happy. Maybe she just wants to act the way she knows her sister would've wanted her to if she died, which she did.

"Look, I won't try to be annoying, I swear. But it's been so long since I have had a sleepover and now since all my friends have turned mushy to me, you guys are my only real friends. I just got excited."

"It's fine, so what do you wanna do Jane," Twinkle-Butt asks.

"Whatever you guys want to do is fine with me."

"It's not like we do much to begin with anyways." Twinkle-Butt answers.

"You know I'm hurt, being with me is always an amazing time," I exclaim. Jane and Twinkle-Butt chuckle at my statement. I look at both of them coldly. How dare they laugh at me?!

"Dinner's ready!" We all race downstairs clearly signifying we are starving.

      We head back upstairs with our bellies full.

"Indie," Jane asks.

"Yeah."

"Why do you always act cold? I mean this with no offense, it's just sometimes you seem to put up this wall and I feel left out."

I was shocked by Jane's inquiry. No one had ever thought to ask me that, not even Twinkle-Butt. but I guess he knows why. People just let me be and never wondered why I acted this way, mostly thinking that was just the way I wanted to act. Most of you may think that I may be mad at her for asking this question, but for some reason I feel... cared for, I guess. Like, she cared enough to know why I am who I am. I sighed and looked over at Jane, who seemed a bit afraid. I gave her a light smile, which is something I never do.

"Truth is Jane, there is a lot of answers to your question, but I guess the main reason is that so many people screwed me over, I'm afraid to let anyone in. I used to be this happy, forgiving person. But when you are like that, people take advantage of you, because they think you are weaker and easier to hold onto. But after awhile I was through with all the pretending and being hurt, so I put up this wall and only kept my mom and Matt in that wall. But that still doesn't mean I'm not that kind and forgiving person anymore, it's just that I never let it come out of that hole for fear I'll be hurt again."

Twinkle-Butt and Jane both sat in awe at what I had said, I had never opened up like that, to anyone, not even Twinkle-Butt. And it's not like Twinkle-Butt didn't care to ask, it's that he didn't need to know, because he knew. He was there for me through all of that. I guess I told Jane all of that because she just had this trusting aura around her and something told me that she would understand how i felt. Everyone needs someone like Jane, and Wendy was lucky to have her a sister.

"Well, you have us, and personally that's all you need. I'm sorry for asking such a blunt question, but for some reason I feel special now, like I fit in with you now," Jane softly spoke.

"You always did fit in with s Jane," Twinkle-Butt says.

"But now I feel it, and I'm happy. I'm finally happy, without having to pretend."

We all have our struggles, and while some may be more apparent than others, they are still there and they are meant to be felt, but also to move on from, even if it means we will encounter more struggles along the way.

"Welp, that got serious," I stated. We chuckle a bit.

"Who is nervous for Sunday," Twinkle-Butt asks.

"Frankly, I don't know what I feel anymore," Jane says.

"I second that," I respond.

We are totally in for a shitty ride. I can smell it.

So sorry I haven't updated in a long time, but I just didn't feel motivated to write. I also feel like my story just isn't good enough. Partly because like only one person reads it and that's my friend Bailey, who by the is Philbertthepolarbear . If you are reading this and are not Bailey, please comment. I would really appreciate it immensely. Also if you see any of my comments anywhere else feel free to give me a holla. Thanks.

xoxo, Sarah