The Stupid Closet

6

Two more weeks had passed, meaning you had been with Theo for a month now. Since your conversation with Mattheo, it seemed like you both were avoiding each other. He hadn't infiltrated any more dreams of yours since then either.

After studying for most of the day on Sunday, you walk back to your dorm to get ready. Theo wanted to have dinner, just the two of you tonight for your guys' one month.

"Let's meet at 8 at the bell tower, yeah? We have late quidditch practice today but it'll be done by 8 for sure." Theo had said this morning before you split in different ways to go to class.

You put on a white long sleeve bodysuit, adding jeans and black high tops, simple but cute. He had explicitly told you that you didn't have to dress up because he'd be coming from quidditch practice.

You work on homework for a bit, Pansy coming in and gossiping about the entire school as you try to work. Luckily, she leaves to go to dinner so you're able to finish your work before you need to head down.

You head to the bell tower, sitting on a bench. The clock reads 7:58pm. The time passes by slowly but no sign of Theo. You check your watch again, 8:37pm. Maybe he was just a little late.

You continue to sit there on the bench, waiting until 9:23pm, still with no sign of Theo. Fuck this.

You start walking back through the castle, the hallways pretty empty this late at night. You could not believe Theo stood you up.

As you're walking through the hall, you see Mattheo walking up to the astronomy tower. You really shouldn't follow him but...a cigarette sounded so tempting.

You make your way up to the astronomy tower, walking up to the railing next to Mattheo. He looks over to you and turns back before saying, "What're you doing up here?"

"I uh...can I have a cigarette?" You ask plainly. This Mattheo felt more like the one you used to hate than he has all year.

He hands you a cigarette, you turn to the side so he can light it. After it's lit, you turn forward, staring out to the sky.

"Since when do you smoke?" Mattheo asks.

"A while..." You trail off, "There's a lot you don't know about me Riddle."

You both go silent for a minute, smoking before Mattheo turns to you again, "What're you doing up here anyways, didn't Theo have a whole dinner planned?"

You scoff before turning to Mattheo, "If by planned you mean he stood me up, then yes."

Mattheo smiles passive aggressively, "Why am I not surprised?" He stares at you for a moment before looking out again.

You see him run his tongue on the inside of his gums, a habit he had when he was upset.

"What's wrong?" You ask softly.

"Like you care." Mattheo clenches his jaw before throwing his cigarette down and putting it out.

"You know that's not true..."

"Then why does it feel like it?" He stares at you. You can see his eyes glistening.

"Mattheo, I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like that. I do care, I just-"

"Had to tend to Theo. I get it." Mattheo says before sitting down, leaning his back against the railing. You do the same, sitting up next to him, "I am trying so hard to stay away."

"I know..." You think for a minute before responding, "what's really going on Mattheo?"

Mattheo looks at you for a moment before looking the other way, holding back a few tears. You place your hand on his thigh, "Hey you can tell me."

"I uh- I keep having these anxiety attacks and I don't know why. They've never happened this much before and I can't stop them and-"

"You ramble when you're upset" You respond, smiling gently at him. He laughs before you continue, "Mattheo you could've told someone. You don't have to deal with them alone."

"Who was I supposed to tell? My parents? Theo? You?" He emphasizes the last one.

"You can always tell me anything." You respond quietly. Mattheo looks at you again and you start to get lost in those big brown doe eyes.

"Theo's an idiot for standing you up." Mattheo says with a small smile on his face.

You rest your head on his shoulder, sitting in silence with him. This was where you're meant to be. This felt right.

"How'd you do on your divination test?" Mattheo asks, messing with the ring on his finger.

"You know Trelawney, she's insane so-" You pause to look over at him, "Not as well as I wanted to. You?"

"That old bat has it out for me, I swear" You roll your eyes, laughing after his response.

"Ok so it sounds like we need to study?" You stand up, Mattheo following you.

You both start to leave the tower, walking back to the Slytherin house," If you and Theo are ok with that..."

You stop walking and face Mattheo, "Theo has no control over who I talk to and who I'm friends with. And yes, I'm okay with it so there's no issue" You smile, trying to be convincing. Mattheo just didn't want to invade after you had made it clear he needed to stay away just a few weeks ago.

When you reach the Slytherin common room, Theo is sitting in the armchair, bouncing his leg up and down. The moment he sees you, he stands up and walks forward, "Where were you? I was worried"

"Seriously? You don't get to be worried when I waited there for an hour and a half, Theo." You spit back. You were beyond pissed at him.

"Practice ran late and-"

"Enough with the excuses mate." Mattheo speaks up, interrupting Theo's explanation.

"Mattheo stay out of this." He points to him before turning back to you, "I'm sorry ok?"

"Sorry isn't enough Theo. I waited there, alone." You start walking away but he grabs your arm, holding you back.

"I'm so sorry, just let me-"

"Just let her go Theo." Mattheo steps forward, reaching his hand out.

Theo looks between you and Mattheo a few times before letting go of your arm, "we'll just talk later" he says softly.

You walk away towards your dorms, looking back at Mattheo in the process. Once you get in your room, you tell Pansy what Theo had done.

Obviously she was pissed but you begged her not to make it worse by saying anything. She agreed...reluctantly.

You lay in bed, thinking about what went down tonight. Before now, you had always thought your connection to Mattheo was just physical. But after tonight, you felt more deeply emotionally connected to him. You felt like you really knew him for the very first time...and you really adored this Mattheo.

What have you been missing all these years? A piece of you felt like if you hadn't been so stubborn about hating him in the past, that he would be one you were with, not Theo. But that was bad to think...right?