Lay Me Down (MxM)

27. Out & other Hormone-Fueled Nonsense

Hi humans! 

I present to you the next, long-awaited chapter. It's a little over 6K words, so I apologize for the lengthiness of it but I couldn't do what I needed with a shorter chapter. I have worked so hard on this and hope that you all enjoy it. I can't wait to write the next few chapters and start working on Jae's perspective again! It's been a battle with my health lately plus the limited time I have to write, and so I really appreciate all your patience and support. It means the world to me. 

Lastly, to all the new readers that have joined us recently, I wanted to say hi and thank you for your support! It's pretty crazy seeing LMD hit 24K reads! That's pretty surreal and I'm not sure what to do with myself aside from say thank you to everyone who helped make that happen. <3 

Can't wait to hear what ya'll think/feel about this next chapter! 

-Quill 

Lucas

"Art portable, art portable, art portable..." I murmured.

It was a strange mantra to fixate on, but that's where Ian was. The art portable.

You can fucking do this.

I winced at the pain in my hand as I walked. The damn thing was throbbing again like a bitch, and I wished I had meds with me other than like, stupid Motrin.

"Fucking, stop griping..." I mumbled, squeezing my backpack strap to distract myself from the discomfort.

And then it happened. I finally stumbled around the portable, anxiety eating me alive once Ian came into view. There he was, leant against the siding with his nose in his phone and an irritable look on his face.

I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Hey..."

He didn't look up and gave a drawn-out sigh.

"... what do you want?"

My head hung low as I walked over and settled myself nearby.

"Just... wanna talk."

Ian locked his phone and turned his attention to the quickly greying skies above. Another drawn-out sigh drifted out of him.

Behaving like this seemed... funny on Ian, and I couldn't help from rolling my eyes. It was hard to take his dramatic sighs seriously when he was almost always the joker.

"I meant it, I'm here to talk... so, when you're done being a drama queen, let me know so we can figure this out."

His gaze shifted hesitantly my way, and after a few strained moments, a weak smile tugged at his mouth.

"Fine, I'll stop..."

"Good." I exhaled a soft laugh and kicked the heels of my shoes together anxiously.

I was so scared. My stomach was flipping every which way, my heart was in my throat, and I could feel a nervous sweat start to break.

"... so... what's up?"

I cleared my throat and nervously brushed my fingertips over my wrist. "It's about the girl, Jaelyn..."

He scowled, scoffing loudly. "Oh, come on, you're still on about that?"

I started to bounce my leg, fear rising like the tide in my gut.

"O-on what?"

He deadpanned me. "You're still gonna use that bullshit name with me? As if I don't know it's made up?"

I bristled. "Or you could fucking let me explain before interrupting?"

He crossed his arms and kept staring at the ground. "I'm not fucking stupid... but sure, whatever. Go on."

"... you're acting like a child." I grumbled, shooting him a pointed look.

Ian cursed, kicking at the grass beneath his feet. "And if I am, then whose fault would that be? You're the one I'm all fuckin' stressed over."

Unbelievable. Maybe I'd acted an ass and kept secrets, but I didn't control Ian's emotions anymore than my dad could control his. I glared at him, feeling a burst of resentment.

I glared. "You don't get to blame me for your behavior."

"Yes, I do." He shot back through clenched teeth.

We just stared one another down after that, painful silence that consumed us both as we sat there and stewed in our own anger.

A few stray tears started to litter my cheeks and I wiped them away quickly; I gave up.

"Fuck this... fuckin' stupid idea. You already got your mind made." I mumbled, turning to leave.

He didn't try to stop me, which hurt, and I couldn't remember a time when we'd ever argued this much, when we'd been so disconnected. I'd made this happen; I'd pushed him away, and this was the consequence.

I drug my feet as I walked, wiping tears consistently.

... but then he called after me.

"Wait, come back! Please, Luca."

I clenched my fists and sniffled, walking all the same.

"... I'm sorry..." he said gently.

I stopped, glancing over to find Ian watching me in earnest.

"Really, I am." He said again. "I'm sorry."

My stomach did a little flip-flop at the sound of his voice, and I begged the universe to help me fix this somehow. So, I took a deep breath and turned around to make my way back to him. He was now stooped down tearing up grass nervously.

His voice waivered some as he spoke, but I knew Ian was being genuine. He didn't make fake apologies.

"... I'm being an ass, 'kay? I know I been, and I'm sorry." He murmured, making little piles of torn up grass. "I just dunno what's gotten into me lately, but just please don't go. You're my fuckface... right? Can't have you leaving..."

Fuckface. That warmed a small part of my aching heart.

I made shy eye contact, and so did he, with him soon averting his gaze at the last minute in embarrassment. I meandered my way closer until I finally slumped down next to him on the ground.

The rain-soaked ground felt less than great on my lower body, but I tried to ignore it. Now was not the time for me to get all weird about the sensory nightmare that was wet grass for me.

"I'm just afraid I'm losing you..." he exhaled.

I shook my head and picked up a few stray pinecones, lining them up.
"You're not, man... that's not it at all."

More silence.

The wind washed over us suddenly, and we caught our breath, the scent of impending rain in the air.

"Weather's turnin' again."

"Yeah..." I cleared my throat. "'least we're a little shielded here from most of the wind."

He just stared at the grass. "Yeah..."

Fuck, Lucas. Just say it. It's now or never. Just fucking do it.

If I could just come out and say it, if I could just do this, then everything... it should get better, right? Skye said it would be okay. I had to believe her, I wanted to believe her. It had to be okay, cause if it wasn't, then I'd lose... him. Ian was like a precious gem, my diamond in the rough-of-a-best-friend. I couldn't lose him.

Minutes passed, but I struggled to find my voice. I was freezing up again.

"... so..." he glanced over, clearly waiting for me to break the deafening silence, but I blushed instead.

He sighed.

"... we should probably get to class. Gonna be late."

I shook my head, reaching for what little confidence I had remaining.

"No, I... fuck. I came here to fix this and clear the air."

Ian let out a soft, "okay", and then dropped his gaze back to his feet. But before I could start forming another thought, I noticed him give me a strange double-take. There was something new in his eyes that I didn't understand. Like... a scowl.

"What is that?"

He sat upright, suddenly motivated by some other kind of emotion. He narrowed his eyes and looked me over. Was it about the hickeys again?

My knee bounced rapidly, fear and anxiety now hopelessly controlling that limb.

"Look, I'll t-tell you, it's just you gotta promise not to freak out!" I offered, heart pounding in my chest like a caged bird.

He got on his knees and leaned in close, and I felt the heat go to my face immediately.

I fell back on my hands and blushed. "W-what are you...?"

Anger flashed behind his dark eyes, and it was then I realized that Ian wasn't just looking at me, no, he'd been smelling me.

"I know that smell!"

Before I could start to register what was happening, he shoved me onto my back and jumped on top of me. My head hit the ground with a hard "thud". It was as dizzying and confusing as the conflicted boner I was now fighting not to develop. Fuck my life.

"Start talkin'." He snapped, his toned chest heaving furiously.

Shit. Fuck. What do I do?!

"W-what about? About Jae?" I gasped. My heart now racing so fast that it was difficult to catch my breath.

His eyes pierced through me, but it was like everything I'd just said had gone right over his head.

"It's her." He growled. "I knew I fucking smelled something familiar! I don't know why I didn't pick up on it earlier."

His face was so close, too close... and all I found myself doing was staring at his lips. They were curled in disgust, with hurt and anger consuming his face, but... he was still beautiful.

"I'm talkin' to you, Fuckface!" He smacked my cheek to get my attention, and my face flashed with embarrassment. Now was not the time to enjoy the way that felt, no, but I did. Great, just another way for my closeted, freaky ass to make this ten times weirder.

I hoped to God he wouldn't notice.

"Luca!"

"R-right, um... wh-what was it?" My voice cracked as I struggled under his strength, but Ian wasn't budging. He had both my arms pinned down, and his grip on my forearm was making now my hand throb.

He just glared at me expectantly, but I was struggling to form a word, a thought, anything!

"Speak! I know you been with her!" he growled, smacking my cheek again.

I pinched my eyes shut and shook my head as I thought. "I don't know what you mean by 'she', who is 'she', Ian? You mean Jaelyn?"

"For fuck's sake. I'm talking about Skye, you fucking asshole!" He yelled. "I fuckin' smell her on you! God, I fucking knew that scent was familiar. I fucking knew it."

Oh, shit.

That was not something I'd considered when she was using her face mist on me, when we had hugged, or when she'd leaned her head against my shoulder. Skye smelled good, but it never occurred to me her perfume would linger on my clothing. Shit.

Either way, it all made sense now; Ian thought I was messing around with Skye, and that meant I was certifiably fucked if I couldn't talk him down.

I gulped and fumbled to explain. "Whoa, no, no! Skye and I... well, we were just—"

"Just fucking around, huh? Just had to fucking get your hands on her too?" He yelled. The warmth of his breath fanned my face. He smelled like a cherry Tootsie Pop. I loved those suckers, and I loved the way they made his lips look. Rosy.

"LUCAS!" He yelled louder. "Stop starin' at me like a dumbass and fuckin' fess up!"

I shook my head, jarring myself back to reality as I tried to plead my case. "O-okay, but please just calm down and lemme explain! Please!"

"Calm down my ass!" He spat. "How come I didn't I fucking realize it before, huh? That's why she was she so fucking curious to help you! It all makes sense now." He shook his head, and the look of betrayal on his face spoke volumes.

Panic set in, and I broke into a sweat. This had gone south so fast it was nauseating.

"Seriously! It's not what you think! I'm not with Skye! That's not it at all! She just—well, she only helped me earlier! That's all!" I protested, trying to sound as confident as possible, but Ian didn't buy it.

Suddenly, I found myself crying out in pain from the very intentional pressure of his knee digging into my groin.

In any other situation that might've turned me on, but it was downright painful, and this was sadly not Jae toying with me, it was my best friend preparing to pummel my ass.

His eyes raked over my appearance ... then paused at my mouth.
"... just 'helped', huh?"

I nodded emphatically, hoping I was getting through to him. "Yes! I threw up all over the floor! So, she took me to the bathroom to help me clean up and stuff..."

"And 'kissed it better', yeah?" He said flatly, grip tightening on my forearms. "She kissed you."

"What? No, no, no, no." I panted. "We just talked a-and—"

"and she kissed you!" his voice rose angrily with every word.