Chaelisa One-Shots Smuts

Crazy Horse

AN: This one is a little long it's about an hour-long read but it's really good. I also translated this from Portuguese so it might not be 100% grammatically correct.  All credits go to chaelisapoetry

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We need to talk.

This is rarely a harmless expression. People usually use it to initiate serious or potentially disastrous topics. It wasn't the first time I'd been in that position of being the one to say "we need to talk," and it probably wouldn't be the last.

Even though I really wanted it to be.

My thumbs hovered over the screen of my phone, the send button practically jumping out at me. For the tenth time in the last few hours, I was completely haunted by those two measly little words. With my left fingernail, I picked at the polish on my right nail, removing a barely noticeable chip that I was sure a high-resolution camera would capture. I would have to keep my hands hidden later.

Of all the times the keyboard cursor flashed the full stop after the dreaded sentence, that was the closest I came to actually throwing everything up in the air and letting the bomb drop. However, it was also the time I hesitated the most, because, well, I would have no way of doing damage control if the bomb did indeed drop.

— Rosé, stop biting your cheeks.

Jisoo's voice made me look away from the screen, and my eyes watered from the prolonged exposure to the light. The brunette was sitting on the floor, staring at the chessboard on the coffee table and trying to learn some basics so we could play later. Alone in my hotel room, with no one giving us orders or dictating our schedules, it almost felt like we were just trainees again, enjoying a random day off.

— I'm not biting my cheeks.

Jisoo glanced skeptically, arching her eyebrow.

— I've spent the last fifteen minutes listening to your chewing sounds — he countered — You're not eating anything and you hate gum, so you're biting your cheeks.

It was impossible to go against Jisoo. She had this sixth sense about everything around her, especially when it came to me and the other girls. I looked back at my phone, wondering if that message was worth the headache. I bit my cheek again.

No, it definitely wasn't worth it.

Before I could convince myself otherwise, I deleted the sentence, exited the messaging app, and locked my phone. I took the opportunity to throw the device away. It bounced onto the mattress of the bed, a few meters away, and disappeared amidst the mess of sheets and pillows. With a frustrated huff, I lay down on the couch and rested my arm over my eyes.

two

Be more selfish, Roseanne.

My friends always told me this. They said I needed to be more aware of my feelings, to put my well-being above what other people thought. That I had to fight for what made me happy. For someone who sometimes lacks self-confidence, it's not easy to be selfish. What if I did the wrong thing? What if I messed up? It was kind of frustrating how I dealt with problems, actually. Writing songs and going to therapy usually worked, but not always. Every now and then, I even had the instinct that told me to be selfish, I really did.

But I couldn't be selfish that day.

Because it was Lisa's big day, the day of her debut at Crazy Horse .

When she told me she was going to make a guest appearance on the show, it honestly didn't shock me. Lisa has always been the kind of girl who stood up for what she thought was right. She didn't give a shit what anyone thought. I think part of it was because she was a foreigner who grew up in a brutal environment; Korea never made life easy for her. But mostly, it was basically because she was born that way. Her self-confidence and sense of empowerment were always the things I admired most about her, out of all the other hundreds of things I admired about her that, seriously, anyone with two functioning eyes could see.