The Scared and The Scarred

Chapter 12

They kept me in the medical center for a week after that. Luca spent most of his time there with me.

Even after his confession he still felt distant and cold. I couldn't help but feel there was something he wasn't telling me. He would sit by my bed all day holding my hand, just staring as if deep in thought. He didn't talk much, which hurt slightly, but at least I knew now that he did care for me.

 Nick and Alice had come to sit with me when Luca had work to do, I enjoyed their company but missed Luca's presence. They told me when Luca had been told I wouldn't wake up they had never seen him look so empty. Apparently he had stopped eating for weeks, if he were human he would have died. They assured me that even though he tries to hide his feelings, he cares for me more than anything. They, after all, had witnessed it first hand. 

 They told me I needed to try and talk to him more, get him to open up to me. It seemed like an impossible task, but at this point I was ready to try anything. 

 Later that evening when Luca returned, he took his seat next to my bed, and took my hand as he always did, without speaking. He was there, physically, but at the same time it was like he wasn't. I turned to look at him, taking in all his features. He looked so deep in thought, I doubt he even noticed me observing him. 

 I slowly reached my other hand over, putting it on his face. His eyes came more into focus and he looked at me.

 "What are you thinking about?" I asked him softly. 

 "Nothing." His voice remained void of emotion, but his eyes stayed on mine.

 I frowned, this was difficult for me, opening to people, he could try a little harder.

 "I'm trying with you, I really am. This isn't easy for me either." I told him, pulling my hand out of his.

 "I don't understand what you expect of me Celia, I'm here for you everyday." He told me, he was obviously getting frustrated with me. 

 "Sitting by my side, saying nothing, is not being there for me, its an improvement, yes, but I want to talk to you, have a real conversation." I said getting angry.

 He sighed, putting his head in his hands. "I'm trying." 

 "Then lets talk." My voice was stronger now, it was easier to talk to him. He looked at me, then grabbed my hand again. 

"What about?" He asked, slouching into the chair.

 "Why did you say such hurtful things to me when we met?" I asked, my eyes drifting to the floor, the memories of his words making me feel the hurt all over again. 

 "This is why. I thought if I pushed you away, made you hate me, then if something were to happen to you or me, it would save us both the pain. I guess I was wrong." He admitted, to my surprise. 

"Then why do you continue to be so cold?" The words left my mouth before I could stop them. 

 "When all you've known is hate, its hard to understand love." He said before releasing my hand and leaving the room.