Jess Glynne Imagines

Now I'm The Saddest Vanilla

You scream and slam another plate against the wall. The wallpaper is ripped to shreds, and shards litter the floor. But you don't care. Your heart feels like it's being chewed up by a paper shredder.

"Oh, god. Why???" You crumple to the floor.

Empty beer bottles litter the floor, along with painkillers. As if painkillers will stop your heart from aching. Drugs and drinking aren't going to help you get out of this. But you don't care.

You look down at your arm, littered with scratches and cuts. Your legs bear the same markings. Ratty hair falls in your eyes, and you haven't eaten in days. Your voice is raspy, and you choke out your tears.

You're a complete mess. Jess, on the other hand, still shines brighter than a diamond. How is she dealing with it all so easily? Smiling for the cameras as if nothing happened. As if her heart hadn't been ripped out. It was all your fault.

Grabbing your phone, you call some of your friends over. They've been living through it too, feeling your pain and anguish. Within twenty minutes, they burst into your apartment.

They take turns cleaning up the house, comforting you, and washing you up. You retreat to your place of depression, letting everything happen. After your friends help find a set of clean clothes for you and tuck you into bed, you lie there thinking.

What now? You lost the love of your life. One second, you were making out in the back of a car. The next second... The tears start coming again. You don't even try to stop them.

You lie in bed, scrolling through your camera roll. Jess... Jess was gone. Just like that. Gone. Disappeared. Vanished. Did she not care? How could she still me going to work and living life when you weren't there?

The alcohol is definitely getting to you. These selfish thoughts were not yours. They couldn't be yours.

Just then, someone knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" You ask in a barely audible voice.

"Maria and Celeste."

You see red and jump out of bed, almost hitting the wall. What are those two bitches doing here? They actually had the audacity to-

"Come in." You sigh.

Maria and Celeste rush inside and give you a big hug. You sit there, shocked. What are they doing?

"Look, y/n..." Maria starts.

"We're really sorry about...how it turned out with Jess." Celeste tucks a lock of hair behind her ear.

"And I know how it looked to you..." Maria glares at Celeste.

"But if you just let us explain-" Celeste says, but you cut her off.

"Let you explain what? How you got down with her? How you fell for her and "didn't mean it"? How you fucked with my girlfriend?" You hear your voice getting louder with each question, but you don't care.

"I-" Celeste looked shell-shocked, and Maria cut in.

"Y/n, calm down. It's nothing like that. We're just here to tell you that Jess felt really bad about it so she gave you a ticket to her show."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You take a deep breath before entering the venue. It's been a while since you went to one of Jess's shows, and it blows you away. You remember the first time you met Jess, and how you'd both fallen in love. You feel a lump forming in your throat and quickly push away the memories. Not right now.

You were standing at the front of the stage, staring at the stage entrance. Counting down from ten, you closed your eyes and took deep breaths. Suddenly, you heard her voice and you jumped.

There she was. Her red curls bounced when she walked, her smile lit up the venue, and her eyes seemed to find you immediately. You exchanged an awkward look, before Jess moved on and started the show.

Afterwards, you make your way backstage to find her. The tech team is running around, and the performers are drinking water like it's the last thing they'll do. Finally, you find Jess's room and knock on the door.

No one answers. You open the door and look inside. It's completely empty. You close the door and run to the nearest window just in time to see Jess pulling away in her car. What was she trying to do? You have about a million reasons why you want to track her down and give her a good talking to, but you resist the urge.

Instead, you go back to her room and look inside. You notice a note on the makeup table, and walk over. Lying smack dab in the middle of the table, is a CD. The note on the CD reads, "For Y/n".

You grab the CD and put it in your pocket as you leave the room, heading for your car. When you get home, you put the CD in your player and listen.

It's a studio tape, probably a draft. It starts with an acoustic melody, but then–

"You are too special to be broken, and I can't be the reason why. I am too lost to be your only, and I can't lay with you and lie. Just the thought of me letting you go, seems so hard when you're all that I know. If you need to walk away, then let me, let me go."

You press stop. This was almost too much to handle. The whole thing hit hard, but the last part hit the hardest. If you need to walk away, then let me go. What does she want? Does she not–

Before you can finish the thought, Jess bursts into your apartment. She looks panicked, and she's still wearing her stage outfit.

"Please, y/n, I can explain." Jess falls to her knees in front of you; something she's never done before.

"What are you–Jess, I–What???" You stammer, not knowing what to say.

"I'm not going to lie to you. Not now, not ever again. Y/n, I–I cheated on you with Maria and Celeste, but I swear it's just you now. And I wanted to talk to you, but didn't know how so I left you a CD and–"

"You want me to let you go?" you ask calmly, looking into her eyes.

"I–I don't know. You just seemed like you wanted to leave me so..."

"Jess, I would never leave you." You help her to her feet, and smile as she wobbles a little on her heels.

"But I've been a terrible girlfriend. I'll never be enough."

"We all make mistakes, and we all have to learn from them. You're enough, Jess; you're more than enough."

Jess smiles at you and whispers, "Can I have..."

"Of course."