Tasty Landmass

Chapter 1

In the world of Hetalia, a world meeting is held every month where all the countries talk about their problems. This month the meeting was held in Croatia. Because Hetalia Croatia doesn't exist, the government simply allowed the countries to occupy their land, in all the ways you would think. The countries have never been to the Balkans before so they were very excited. Excited too was Hetalia Slovakia, who spent his days crying because Hetalia Czechia left him in the Velvet Divorce (I think, I'm not fact checking this lol). At home all he would do is cry and eat butter which reminded him of Czechia resulting in him crying more. So he was somewhat hopeful that going to Croatia would make him less depressed as he laughs at how pathetic Greece's economy is.

The plane arrived in Croatia and all the countries chaotically got off. Italy was throwing pasta everywhere and Germany was yelling at everyone. Slovakia sighed as he entered the world meeting room where all the countries would sit down and one by one admit that their government was failing and propose stupid ideas that would supposedly fix it even though it was doomed from the start. The seating arrangement was really crappy, because he would sit next to the countries he borders which includes Czechia. So when he sat down he started sobbing because he missed rubbing butter into her face and sticking their faces together to convince her to have used Czecho-Slovakia instead of Czechoslovakia. In the meeting America was droning on and on about how bad his presidential debate was and Slovakia couldn't care less so he went outside to take a break.

He looked around the nice scenery of whatever city they are in in Croatia. For some reason, it was nothing like what he had at home or wherever else he visited in Europe. The air was so clear and the sky was an uncanny shade of blue (idk that's just what I see from the travel photos). The ground was so delicate and beautiful, the roads were as smooth as the best road in Latvia. Slovakia had a second mental breakdown in the past hour because Croatia looked so stunning and immaculate. After inhaling his tears he impulsively laid on the ground and had an existential crisis. After sobbing some more someone unfamiliar approached him.

"What are you doing," he asked.

It was Hetalia Croatia, who somehow spawned into existence. Feeling so many things at once, Slovakia consumed the entire landmass of Croatia while the country watched in both horror and admiration. Now there was just the Adriatic Sea and the lone Hetalia world meeting building. All the other countries started panicking as the building started sinking. All of them escaped except for The Netherlands because he was already losing the war to water.

"UBIT TU CE PA TE MRTVOG JEBAT" Croatia cried because his whole landmass was gone.

"It's okay you can live in my house" Slovakia said to cope with his underlying loneliness because he didn't live with Czechia anymore. Croatia smiled and they started violently making out because I guess that's how they settle diplomacy in Croatia and if I don't add a ship then this chapter won't be gay. So Croatia deleted his government and sent all of his 12380392829293 million population to live in Slovakia. Suddenly Slovakia didn't miss Czechia anymore because he was gay and he was a lot happier and went to therapy.

GLORY TO THE POLITICAL AND ROMANTICAL UNION OF CROATIA-SLOVAKIA WITH THE HYPHEN