It's been 2 years since the strike ended and the newsies won. 2 years since the last time I saw your beaming smile. 2 years since we shared our early mornings together dreaming about Santa Fe. Now I sit alone on the roof of the lodge tracing my fingers over the last letter you wrote me. 'Your brother, Crutchie' It ended. I'd read over this letter so many times I could recite it by heart. I told you a family looks out for each other. But I didn't look out for you. I didn't protect you the way a brother should. I blamed myself for it all. If I wasn't such a coward I could have saved you. You could still be here right now laughing beside me and calling me crazy. I blame myself for it all. The rest of the boys try to tell me otherwise but it doesn't change anything. It was all my fault. I carefully fold the paper and slip it into my pocket. The sun has just started to set, sinking below the horizon. "Hey." Davey shows up sitting down beside me dangling his legs off the edge. "How you doing?" I shrug off his question looking into the distance. "Shouldn't you be getting home? Won't your folks be worried?" I ask him. "Les is hanging with the rest of the newsboys, and I don't want to ruin his fun. Plus our parents will be home late." We sat there in silence for several more minutes. Davey knew it all. He knew what this day was. He knew how it affected me and he knew that silent company was what I always needed. "It's not your fault." I turn my head towards him. "What?"
"It's not your fault Crutchie died." He repeats without daring to make eyeconnect with me. "You couldn't have done anything, you would have just got yourself killed. Do you think Crutchie would have wanted you to beat yourself up like this?"
"I don't know what Crutchie would have wanted since he's not here!" I snap. "Synder should be the one that's dead, not Crutchie." I look down and take a deep breath. "He was only 15. 15, Davey! That's only a few years older than Les is now." Davey nods. "Crutchie was a great kid, with a great future ahead of him. But-" He pauses and sniffles as if stopping himself from crying. "But things don't always go as we planned." Crutchie was the kid who brought smiles on everyone's face when times were hard. And without him people's joy seemed to slowly fade. Yes, there was Les who had taken on Crutchies role but no one could do it as he did. "It's not fair." I mumble. "He was just a kid."
"And so where you." Davey replies back. "There was nothing you could have done to stop it Jack. You were 17." I take off my newsboy cap and trace over the stitches. "Thanks Dave."
"Anything for a friend." He smiles at me and we sit there as the sun disappears and an evening breeze sweeps through the air.
