Depraved

29 . Alexei

I am unable to focus on anything. No work is getting done even after me spending hours in my office. And I have been going excessively to field work that may or may not involve around blood and death, which I usually don't involve unless necessary. I'm neither scared nor have any morals. I don't think twice before slashing someone's throat if it is what it is to be done. I like clean cuts, no mess. Unlike Luca who likes the torture and impeccably gets high on blood. That might be different with revenge though, oh how I want them to suffer.

I just keep staring at the monitor looking at the living room where the three of them are giggling and laughing. It wasn't such a bad idea to allow sofia and alana meet.

I see them playing with the kitten that i bought for her and intentionally left at the garden. They call him coco, what a funny name.

Alana seems more lively spending time with sofia and coco. The other day she even hugged Damien, which i might or might not have taken it out on him on the training boxing sessions.

I don't usually fight Damien, but that day it was different. Although he doesn't hold back either i did manage to cool myself. But a ugly head rears out of me everytime she smiles at them.

She never smiled at me like that, of course i didn't give her any reason to. But everything of hers is mine, even that sweet smile.

I keep on sneaking into my own bedroom at night like some pervert and watch her sleep .

This isn't me.

The first three days when she refused to do anything, even eat i couldn't do anything.

I did force food down her throat.

Even then the way her throat bobbed up and down made it hard for me to concentrate on the task. Sooner or later all of those will be mine anyway.

She let me in. She doesn't know what she has gotten herself into yet.

I see Alana pretending to be scared while the kitten stands and tries scaring her.

I know how she looks when she actually is scared. I remember those terrors in those chocolatey eyes, that makes my lips turn upward.

The urge to be inside her has been like a forest fire inside me. It just keeps growing. And there is nothing that i could do to quench it.

The more i forbid my body from it,the more i try to resist the urge the stronger it gets everyday.

I still see her when we not so coincidentally meet in the dining room, where i know she's eating with sofia, its getting annoying now.

Sofia keeps telling her about the books and the things about the outside world.

When my zolotse listens to her with those big eyes. Did i just think 'my' zolotse. "Fuck" i mutter as i switch off the monitor hearing a knock on my door. 

I see the door opening to Luca, who has come uninvited. "To what do i owe this unpleasant surprise?" I smile. "it'll be unpleasant when i sink my hands in your smug face you little wanker" he counters as he settles in the seat infront of me. 

."Sorry to disappoint, thats not happening in any lifetimes, you look like you're being pussy depraved, i heard lisa wants to have a pup and you aren't interested. How could you decline a wish from that beautiful lady?" I say faking empathy.

"You better keep my wifes name out of your mouth." He barks. Luca always will be pissed off when it comes to his wife.

"So what did you come for, uninformed?" I ask leaning back in my chair. "The pakhan seems annoyed at you" he answers honestly. "It's nothing new" i counter.

"I know, you did not introduce your wife to him or the bratva, and even to your bestfriend, which is me. I'm so disappointed in you" now he fakes saddness.

His audacity to wanting to meet my wife, but I don't let it show on my face.

"I plan on doing it soon" i say indifferently.

He looks at his watch and says "alright, i have a date with my wife, I'm not the one who's pussy depraved" he winks and saunters outside

I have this urge to punch him in the face.

But no I don't loose control. That's not me.  I think about the conversation with luca, its true i need to introduce my wife to the bratva, especially to the pakhan.

I plan on doing it at the right time. I move to the monitor and turn it on.

To my pure annoyance i see Luca standing infront of my wife, with his most disgusting smile and a extended hand.

And Zolotse actually takes it and smiles back. Can this get anymore irritating. I loosen my tie and i see luca not letting go of her hand as he says something to which she laughs.

The audacity, that's it, I'm going for the dinner his wife invited me the other day with themHe slowly looks at the camera and smiles without letting her hand go.

And i have to control my whole temper to not go there and explode.

He finally let's it go and ends his wrath by getting out of the house. I'm fuming though.