Depraved

34. Alana

I sigh and open both of the doors.  I stand there stupified looking at the scene unfolding infront of me. Alexei casually sitting in his chair with his hand holding the chin of a lady, beautiful lady with straight blonde hair standing close infront of him, bending down so both of them are in eye level. And alexei is actually smiling. They both slowly turn towards me and his eyes meets mine.

I hope he doesn't see the hurt and pain in them. He doesn't remove his hands from her even after seeing me. I feel like i am the one got caught and many feelings take hold of me. "I think........i... opened the wrong door, sorry" i quickly mutter and close the door behind me and run towards my room as fast as i can.

I dont let the tears fall. They are not for him. I can't cry for him. I won't cry for him.

I open my bedroom door and sofia looks up from coco at me, "why are you back so soon,?  Dont tell me you Chickened out at last....." She stops and moves towards me placing a hand on my shoulder "are you alright?" She asks as comcern coats her features. "No" i nod  and say "excuse me for a minute" i say as i rush towards the bathroom. I lock the door behind me and stand infeont of the mirror. I don't look beautiful anymore. I don't look good. My eyes are red so is my nose.  I look at my lips coated in red and furiously wipe them as tears well up in my eyes. No i shouldn't cry i tell myself as the tears fall. I knew it wasn't for me. What did i think dressing up for him. Atleast i saved myself from humiliation at the last moment.

I remove my make up wash my face and make my hair into a bun and get out of the beautiful dress and change into the bathrobe. I'm hurt and I'm angry, both of which im not supposed to be. I should feel indifference. I feel anything but that. Once I'm sure I'm collected i step out of the bathroom. Sofia paces the room with coco waiting at the bathroom door. Once im fully out they both hug me and sofia's tear wet my cheeks as she says "sorry, i didn't mean to...."
"Hey, it wasn't your fault" i say and hug her back.

I relish in her embrace for a few minutes before changing into a night dress that stops at my mid thighs. 

and we both settle on the couch, "ice cream makes everything better, let me go and get ice cream for both of us, do you want anything else?" She asks.
"Chocolates please" i add and she goes downstairs for fetching it as i keep thinking back to the scene that happened before my eyes. 'were they kissing? When i entered, were they about to kiss? Or worse did he ...... have sex with her ?  I hug my knees to my chest as i think how could he touch her that too inside the house when his wife is next door, i drop my head to my knees and wipe the tears aways furiously.

I turn on the tv and try focusing on it. But its of no use. I know i shouldn't let it get to me. But i can't. I can't do anything when it concerns to him. Its been long since sofia went downstairs, i think of going down to check on her.

But then ditch the idea fearing if i had to face them again together, god knows in what position. Sofia comes in with an angry huff and puff and i am curious as of what happened, but don't implore when she starts surfing through the chanels and hands me chocolate bars and ice cream tubs, and the whole day my diet consisted of ice creams and chocolates to mila's dismay as we both indulged in every boring television series.

"Oh no, i forgot to water my plants" i say as the evening sun coats my windows. She looks at me from her position on the couch and says "I'll water them while I'm leaving."