sweet, sweet memories

Chapter 11 ~ Dude, My Bike Got Murdered

I'M KINDA SORTA NOT REALLY SORRY ABOUT THE TROLL CHAPTER >w<

I LOVE YOU GUYS! HERE'S THE ACTUAL THING!

(Barely edited, btw)

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

~ Skylar ~

"Why did you have that picture?" I blurted it out before I even knew what I was saying. I immediately regretted it. I could've just said my phone had broke and played it off as if my little tantrum was nothing. But no, my curiosity had landed me in some deep shit, once again.

Ryder gave me a blank stare, speechless. The expression on his face told me everything. He knew about the picture... and he didn't tell me. Our trust was broken. Tears began gathering in the corners of my eyes.

"Skye..."

I took a deep breathe and tried to swallow my tears. "Explain."

He shifted his emerald eyes to floor, whether in shame or inability to meet mine, I wasn't sure. "I've known you for a long time, Skye... I was the one who protected you from the scary monsters under your bed and the bullies at school when you were little, remember?" His eyes were glassy when they came up to meet mine again.

I didn't remember my childhood at all. The bustling streets of New York that I thought I had viewed as a kid just weren't a memory that I had. I never pried into my mind for an answer. I figured it was normal not to remember much from your childhood. But what Ryder said must've been true; I had seen the picture. I had touched the proof with my very own fingers. The proof had plagued my mind for days and nights. I couldn't deny it. What Ryder said was true. Why? Why hadn't I remembered?

Accepting my amnesiac fate, I shook my head. I couldn't remember...and it broke my heart.

Ryder let out a long sigh, as if I had just confirmed what he already knew was true. "I figured. You never mentioned those times at all, and you didn't even show a hint of recognition when I saw you again. What happened, Skylar? What made you forget those times? What hurt you so much that you could forget about us? About me." He looked so exposed. Gone was his bad boy demeanor and cocky attitude. Instead, he was replaced with a vulnerable boy that looked so betrayed it shattered my heart again.

I hid my face with my hair and turned my eyes to the ground. What could I say? 'I don't know how and why I forgot about you. I just did.' That sounded so insensitive and open; a completely inadequate answer for the situation. So I kept my mouth shut and trained my eyes on my shoes and the ground. I was being a coward, I know. I couldn't even give Ryder an explanation after he had opened up to me. What was wrong with me?

After a suffocating silence, Ryder stood up from his place on the bed and silently exited the room. The place where we had joked around and opened up to each other time and time again, was now cold and barren. The dark purple walls weren't warm anymore. They were just a cold reminder of what had once been. His leaving felt so final. I had broken the most precious thing to me once again.

|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

I was tired. So tired. It's been a week and two days...nine days...216 minutes...12,960 seconds since Ryder walked out of my room. He hadn't called once, and he didn't even show up at school. It was obvious he was avoiding me, but I knew I deserved it. It was my fault...again.

I had been going to school to take my mind off of things, but it was so lonely and dull there. I didn't have anyone to talk to me, to tease me, to be a complete and total idiot with. Every day hurt. Everything inside of me hurt. I couldn't breathe without feeling my heavy chest dragging me down, and I felt like I was dying. Nothing helped. Even the music that had been a safe haven for me couldn't make me feel better. Not in the slightest.