veiled hearts

twelve

"Princess Lyra-!" The Guards bowed from the waist as they saw me, many steps before I got close enough. "I'm Mathew, I come with Phillipps and Kieer from Luminae, we were told to come only a couple of hours after you to ensure your safety." The blonde guard with a downturned smile started. It's always keeping me before the castle safe, a forever kept rule.

"There has been one outsider travelling with us, coming from the crown, required to guide us safely," My eyes followed the guard's behaviour, his features, his seriousness but hidden smile underneath all of that training and fighting and overall discipline and requirements he had to follow. "We will introduce him the second he comes down from the stables."

I felt his dead stare set on me after he seemed to be done speaking. Then I turned around to look at Eiran, trying to compare the look of his eyes to the guard's.

His were still glistening. I looked at the other ones once more, seeing that each one of them had a fog within their eyes, unable to make me share any feeling to their soul.

They looked so tired, so dead inside.

"Is everything in order, princess?"

"Why are you a guard?" The question escaped my lips, and I felt my eyes widen after hearing myself state such a question.

But I said it. "Excuse me?" He replied, visibly thrown off.

Silence.

Air filled my lungs, but it felt as if it had gone nowhere.

I stepped closer to the guard as I repeated myself. "Why are you a guard, Mathew?" My head tilted right.

The silence didn't seem to leave us, gods, it strangled me.

No answer.

"Eiran," I said, not even turning around to look at him. "Why are you a guard?"

"Lyra don't ask such questions-. You already know why."

"That's exactly why I ask." My voice remained sort of quiet, but they heard me clearly, it was also soothing as I hoped, I wanted to sound sweet enough.

I knew I did. "I mean, guys. This might be our last night on this earth, I am not the queen, I am not a Maiden, I am a person. Why do you do this—."

"I was forced." I got cut off, my heart could've tripped out of my chest. It was Kieer. A Pale guard with rich dark hair whose arms looked as big as my head but a structured and defined face who looked as young as Eiran's, if not younger. "At first, I was forced..." He continued, "My parents prayed for me to become successful, the owner of one of those bars in the city, but I refused. I wanted to be a songwriter and perform, be loved, known and successful in my own ways. But-."

"Kieer, stop. Look at who you're talking to." Phillipps interrupted him.

Kieer lowered his sight, but only some seconds later he decided to go on."But they found out that I wanted to throw off their plan and signed me up to become a royal guard. I hated it at first, I have no passion, if I can be honest."

"You can." I assured him.

"But I have faith. I began to believe in the gods like I never had before, and if you here, standing before me —if it's true—."

"That I'm chosen?" I was so disconnected with my supposed gift, I began to feel afraid. Was I not chosen? Was I the wrong one? Haven't I developed yet, or is the gift simply all a lie. I decided to step back, Eiran noticed. "I...am..."

"Lyra, it's cold out here, we should go in." Cold? Cold.

"I've never felt cold before." I sighed. "Are you guys cold?"

"Lyra, are you feeling alright?" My vision became blurry. I turned to look at Eiran.

"I'm doing perfectly." I wasn't. My heart felt like pouring out of my chest.
What did it mean that I happened to be the chosen one? I knew I was the one chosen for the throne. But why was I so sacred, so special?

Why protect me? Why not my brother? Why did my brother leave, why did my parents die, how could they?

"Princess," I could hear the muffled voices of the guards calling for my attention.

"Princess!" Why did I feel this way again?

It burned.

It burned.

It burned.

It burned.

"Let's get her inside. Now!" A new voice spoke, it felt familiar, though. I didn't want to go inside... I wanted to burn into the snow. I wanted to melt right there.

I wanted my brother here. I wanted Eiran, who was this?

What was I doing here?

"I know you..." The voice in the back of my head began to speak. "I know him." I told myself.

"Lyra?!" Eiran. "Lyra, no!" Wake up, wake up, wake up.

I wanted to wake up, how did my mind just leave my body?

"Wake up!" The thickest inhale entered my lungs. I was present again.

My breath was held tight, making my words barely come out. "Oh my..." I writhed as I finally woke up, feeling as if I had never been down in the first place.

"Lyra, I need you to really try to stay with me right now." Why was he... I found breathing difficult now, my vision came back, and I mistakenly stared at my hands, my hands, my hands, my hands were full of blood.

My blood.

"Why is there an arrow in me, Eiran?"

"I am not Eiran. I am Theodore, outsider, coming from the crown. Eiran attacked you."

Those words repeated in my head like an echo.

No... no, no, no. This isn't real.

"Princess, please just stay with me, okay? Give me some minutes."

Some minutes? I was bleeding, I was dying.
"I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I am-." I breathed slowly, at least tried as arrows fell behind me, where even was I? I let my head fall back as pain began to travel through my body, all of it emerging from my waist on the right side.

I was convinced this was my last breath. I would have never believed I would have ended like this. Betrayed, confused, and I didn't even get to the throne.

I didn't meet my brother, I didn't get to know love, I wasn't able to do anything, strength absolutely left my body.

But for the first time in my life, I wanted to live.