veiled hearts

eleven

"I hate it here."

My legs tickled as the cold wind grazed against my skin. I held a rose in my hand, the rose that he gave me, he picked it out from the bush of those rotting flowers in the garden, but this one was still very much perky and stiff, not too stiff though, the petals near the middle hugged the center of the flower while the ones on the side delicately laid over my fingers.

"I hate just how depressing and mean everyone is, I hate the way I'm taught, the way I'm told not to linger as I simply walk around, the way I can't step outside by myself, the way I'd get punished if someone found out it was me who stood out here without my guard watching... I hate it all." I knew hate was a strong word, and I knew I should never speak poorly of The Royalty... and to be honest, I had no idea of why I was saying all of this, or why I stood here, but I did, and I sort of enjoyed it.

I enjoyed his hands hugging my waist, his stare on me, his attention to my words, his wish to help, I liked this, and I wanted it so bad.

"If only you knew the bare truth, precious."

Precious.

I loosened my hold on the flower before I turned around and saw a man with a blurry face and remarkable eyes step back to give me some space. "The bare truth?" I repeated, looking for answers in my head.

"Stop trying to figure it out, it's impossible. Just look for the elements inside you, and you'll find out yourself. It can be hard, though."

"Well then tell me, — —." I couldn't hear his name, but I could swear I said it. "Tell me why it has to be this way, so hateful, so secret, so unsure, just tell me for once,"

His face wasn't very visible, but gods, I knew those eyes, his features were perceptible at times, but only at times. Still, I felt his haze, his need to tell me something but not being allowed to. "I'm not as bad as you've been taught, Princess Lyra." And with that, he vanished. I looked down at my hands, sensing the rose turning to ashes and the wind to glass, cutting my skin. I looked up at the starry sky, feeling a teardrop fall down my cheek as the words "I need you to end this cycle" ran across my lips.

Then I woke up to the sound of his voice. His harsh voice, the voice I truly didn't wish to hear for the next couple of days. Eiran's.

He was... yelling?

"Maiden, please inform the princess that we're here!" He shouted from outside the carriage.

I was inside the royal carriage the whole day, and I slept? The entire trip? No way.

"Woah! I'm glad you're still alive, thought I'd lost you there," Sadira. "It's been some hours, you fell asleep after the second break, we stopped again only a couple of hours ago but Eiran refused to wake you up. He said you looked too angelic to be disturbed," She whispered, sort of mockingly.

"This isn't..."

"No-. We haven't gotten to Crownsgate yet, princess. But it has gotten weirdly dark a bit earlier today so we will be stopping here at–." I couldn't help but cut her off after peeking outside the windows or the carriage.

"—Kienhearts!" My eyes practically glittered after I poke the name of this place... the enormous bells of the central clock tower began to sing the exact moment we passed through the royal gates of the sacred land. This was the most highly developed land of Arcanter, and gods, I missed it. I missed him... My brother. I would die to encounter him while I stay. I may only be here for one night, but I urged to see him like crazy. I had never been allowed to speak of him, mostly because he didn't take part in anything royal after our parents died. It sometimes feels as if he never really existed in the first place.