COTE: Yandere One Shots

Kushida's Acceptance

Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why can't I get him out of my head?! I can't stop thinking about him, it's pissing me off. Why is my heart beating so fast? Why does it have to be him.

I sat on the edge of my bed, my mind a compelte mess. The school trip to Hokkaido was still fresh in my mind. And a particular memory kept replaying in my head over and over again, like a broken record. And it all had to do with Kiyotaka Ayanokoji.

He's been on my mind constantly ever since the school trip, no matter what I did, I just couldn't get him out of my head. His calm aura, his ever piercing eyes, the way he seemed to see through everything and everyone. It infuriated me.

Why the hell does it have to be him?

I clenched my fists, feeling my nails dig into my skin. Ayanokoji was a complete mystery, someone I could never figure out, and for some reason it made him all the more captivating.

This wasn't like me. I was always in control, always the one manipulating others, never the one being manipulated by my own feelings. But with Ayanokoji, everything was different. There was no way I was gonna let one person affect me this much. At least I hope so.

How did it even come to this? How did I, Kikyo Kushida, start having obsessive thoughts about someone like Kiyotaka Ayanokoji?

Well It all started on that day. The day when he looked at me with those unflinching eyes and said those words.

I prefer your true self.

I remembered standing there completely frozen. No one had ever said that to me before. It was a completely foreign feeling to me. I've always thought that my true self was disgusting, so I hid it away, creating a whole different persona, so people would accept me, but for some reason, Ayanokoji wanted the real me.

Damn it!

I slapped myself, the sharp sting on my cheek bringing me back to the present. I have to keep these thoughts down. Ayanokoji was different, yes, but he was still just another person. An infuriatingly handsome person, but another person nonetheless.

The slap hadn't helped. With my face now stinging in slight pain. I sank to the floor, hugging my knees to my chest.

Why can't I stop thinking about him?

I had to find a way to deal with these emotions. To either make these feelings go away or to turn them into something I could use.

But how the hell could I do that when just thinking about him made my heart race? When the mere memory of his words made my legs weak?

I buried my face in my hands, a low groan escaping my lips. I decided to head to bed as it was already getting late. Hoping that some sleep would make these thoughts go away.

Unfortunately it didn't.

I tossed and turned in my bed, unable to sleep. Occasionally checking my phone from time to time. Midnight. 1 AM. 2 AM. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, his stupidly handsome face would surface.

Why can't I just forget about him?

I groaned and turned onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. The darkness did nothing to calm my racing thoughts. The same words kept repeating, preventing me from sleeping.

I prefer your true self.

Why did those words have such a hold on me? Why did they make my heart ache and my mind race? I needed to rest, to regain my composure before the morning. But how could I do that when my thoughts were consumed by him?