Lover | (Ningselle)

But home is just a room full of my safest sounds

Aeri and I graduated high school a year after Yeji and Ryujin's wedding.

That was almost 4 years ago, and Aeri and I are college seniors now. Not much has happened in the last 4 years. Aeri went on to become an English major, and I ended up taking Biology. We had classes in different faculties, had a different set of friends, had a different set of workload.

Despite the differences, some things still remained the same: Aeri is still the most beautiful girl in the entire school, and am still the idiot helplessly in love with her.

It's strange. I thought after high school, I would meet someone in college that would sweep me off my feet and make me fall in love, ultimately making me forget my feelings for my best friend. Many have tried, many have come close, but no one has surpassed the emotions I have for Aeri. I used to blame it on the fact that it's because I always see her, making moving on so difficult. But I've come to accept that even if Aeri decided to go to another university to study, the kind of feeling I have for her would be able to go the distance.

Besides, if Aeri really did decide to go to a different university, I didn't trust myself to not follow her.

"Do you really have to go, Ningning?", I heard Aeri say from our living room couch.

I'm in the midst of packing for an exchange program to London. It's nothing I really planned, but when one of our professors said that we can do a semester in a university of London, I decided that maybe I needed a change of scenery.

Truth to be told, I didn't think I would get it. There were at least a hundred people who signed up for the program, and only 20 people would get to go to London. I guess I was fortunate enough to get to be part of that 20.

"I do, Aeri," I said as I continued to fold my clothes .

Aeri huffed before going returning to her game, giving me the chance to steal longing glance from the girl I'm going to miss the most.

I sighed, however, it is also because of this girl I decided to go.

Just a few days before my professor talked about the program in London was when I saw Giselle hugging another girl I've never seen before. They were standing at the corner of the university plaza, just tightly hugging each other as if it were only them in that space.

The thing is , I know it broke my heart. But I remember staying there, completely statued, watching them hold each other, I only remember wanting to be the girl before I sighed and walked away.

When Aeri got home that day, she was all smiling and giddy, to the point that I feel that I could tell her that I threw all her gaming consoles out of the window and she'd tell me that she would be so glad I did that.

I remember sitting across Aeri at the dinner table that night as she told me about her day, not mentioning anything about the plaza or the girl or the hug. I remember excusing myself after that, walked into my room, and curled into my bed.

I don't remember when I fell asleep, or if I cried myself to sleep because how heavy my heart felt. All I remember is waking up in the middle of the night to find a glass of water and medicine tablets and a note from Aeri.

"Let me take care of you
x A"

When I sat up, I was surprised to find Aeri sleeping in a chai across the room, arms crossed over her chest as her head fell to the side.

And I remember crying.

I am so in love with her, but I know she doesn't love back in the way I want her to. In the way I needed her to. I remember looking at the note, and then I remember looking at her, and I remember soaking the yellow post-it with Aeri's clumsy handwriting with my tears because I know that Aeri's heart belonged somewhere else.