I've been denying myself a lot of my feelings for the past 3 months. I've found it better that way, until I knew for sure that Lindsey was serious. Part of me still isn't sure that 3 months is long enough to change the way I feel, but after the kiss we shared, I'm not sure that I can hold my feelings back any more. God, it took every bit of will power I possess to pull away instead of dragging him back to the car and going back to his house and giving into our passion. I'm trying to tell myself that what I did was best, that we have to take it slow, that his suggestion of dating is really the best way to handle things, but all I can do is think about his lips against mine, body pressed against me, hands on my body. God. I wish I could stop imagining his lips on the rest of my body, tongue in my mouth, hands touching me. The way it feels when he fills me. Ugh I have to stop this. He's not here and I'm only adding to the sexual frustration I've been feeling these last months. It's not that I haven't wanted him, God knows I have. I hate seeing him leave at night, knowing we're both going back to empty beds when we both want to be with each other, making love until we can't continue.
I look over at the clock and it's only one. I want to call him, but he's barely into his flight. What the hell is wrong with me? One kiss and I'm already this needy? Go to sleep Stevie. I roll over and try to close my eyes, but here I am again, reliving our kiss, feeling his arousal grow against me and I know I'm not going to be able to sleep until I get some kind of release. I roll back onto my back so I can give myself the release I need. I close my eyes and start with our kiss and let my mind travel on as if I hadn't ended our kiss as my fingers worked on my clit. I quickly began working faster and only on that most sensitive area because I need relief quickly. I feel the orgasm growing in the pit of my stomach and know I'm close as I add more pressure. Finally, a moan that I quickly try to stifle escapes my throat and sweet release comes, but it's not satisfying. I'm still craving more and I know that nothing I can do for myself is going to satisfy this need I feel, this desire, and I'm not sure that I can keep holding out.
I wake up to a ringing phone and it pisses me off because I know I haven't slept long.
"Hello?" I ask angrily.
"Hey baby." Lindsey.
"Do you have any idea what time it is?"
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to hear your voice. I can't stop thinking about you." he says quietly and he sounds vulnerable.
"I can't stop thinking about you either. Damn you for having to leave after doing this to me." I say and he chuckles loudly.
"You're the one that sent me on. I would have loved to have stayed the rest of the night continuing where we left off." he reminds me.
"I know you would have, but it's a bit irresponsible to miss a flight you chartered just so you could get off before the weekend."
"Wow." He says and he sounds wounded.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out like that. You woke me up, I'm not thinking clearly yet." I apologize.
"That's ok, but now getting through this weekend is going to be torture. I need you."
"You're telling me. I, I haven't wanted you this badly in so long. I laid in bed for hours before I could fall asleep." I tell him honestly. I'm not used to being this open with Lindsey, but maybe it's time.
"God, baby. Tell me how you managed because I still haven't been able to sleep." He asks and suddenly I'm feeling a little self conscious.
"I just did, you know?" I say hoping he'll drop it but he just growls and I know he knows what I did.
"Baby, that's so hot. Did it help? Did you at least think about me?" he prods and though I don't want to answer, I know he won't stop now.
"Of course I did. And not really. I want you." I emphasize.
"I want you too baby, so much. I've got a hard on just hearing your voice." He tells me and I know where he is wanting this conversation to go.
"Yeah?"
"Oh yeah. All I can think about is what I'm going to do to you when I get back."
"And what's that?" I play along, but I'm not sure I'm going to be very good at this. I haven't had phone sex with anyone in years. I haven't even talked dirty in awhile. Not that I don't know how, I just don't want to sound awkward.
"I want to taste you. You haven't let me in so long." he starts and I can already feel myself getting wet again. "I'll run my tongue down your body, making sure I spend plenty of time on your perfect breasts, sucking you, licking you, everything you can think of. But I'm anxious to make my way to that sweet pussy of yours. To taste how wet you are, to suck your clit and hear you moan my name. And when I finally get my tongue in your slit ..." he stops because I've begun touching myself again, my fingers mimicking what he tells me his tongue will be doing and I'm so close, I can't help but moan and his name has escaped my lips.
"Oh God, Stevie, you sound so sexy." he breathes.
"Don't stop." I beg and he continues a bit more until I cry out loudly.
"Say my name." he groans and I can tell
he's joined me and he's close as well.
"Lindsey!" I cry and continue knowing he needs more. "God Lindsey and I can't wait to return the favor, to run my tongue all over your dick, to pull you into my mouth and feel you grow harder. And touch you as my mouth moves over you and your muscles tense and you release into my mouth..." he groans loudly and says my name and I know I've done my job.
"God Stevie, that was hot." he says after he catches his breath.
"I know. I needed that." I sigh.
"Me too. I can't wait to really do that when I get home."
"I'll be waiting." I reply. "Goodnight Lindsey."
"Goodnight baby. 3 more days." He says and hangs up the phone.
Fuck. How am I supposed to make it through three more days?
****so I'm a little new to the more sexual writing. Hope it's not too awkward or terrible.*********
