FRIEND 0.2

11 1 2

by cyberrscum

by cyberrscum

I drove to the apartment I had recently moved in with my older sister Claire. We decided we were old enough to live on our own and stop relocating place to place. I don't really know how I feel about settling down for the first time ever. I could still see some boxes on my sister's beat up truck that she hadn't brought inside due to her massive laziness. I don't understand why she had to move in with me when mom lived only 20 minutes away and could easily live with her instead of being in the way. She threw her life away at 16 when my parents were stupid enough to let her on her own leading to her trying several types of drugs which ended up in addiction. It's fine though because she got a job working at some retail store where she barely gets enough money to pay the half of her rent each month. I took a last puff out of my cigarette before stomping it on the ground. I took the boxes out of the truck and headed towards the apartment building. Besides my sister living with me the apartment was okay, the view from the balcony is what intrigued me the most. It was a perfect view of the city, which was nice for my late night smoking habits. Which now that I think about it had to stop because smoking at 2:00 am won't result into a happy me in school mornings. Even though I was 18 I still had the whole senior year to go due to me relocating so frequently and resulting me to miss 48 days in total which was enough for me to restart the whole year.

"WHAT'S UP BITCH LOOK WHAT I HAVE" Claire said waving a bag of weed right on my face.

"Please Claire not here I don't want it smelling like herbs all day"

"Thanks for carrying the boxes in by the way also I met a new friend and he's coming tonight"

"Whatever" I huffed. I knew by the look in her face her so called 'friend' wasn't any good for her but I gave up in saving her long time ago.

I could hear her friend from my room and then realized it wasn't only going to be one friend but about 10, enough to wreck the apartment. It was 11:38 pm and I was getting quite tired but the noises around wouldn't let me sleep. I hated this. I hated feeling alone. I hate looking beside my bed and not seeing someone there with me. I hated it but it didn't matter because I've grown used to it. My cigarettes were calling out to me so I headed out to the balcony. I got my earbuds out and blasted cage the elephant while taking various puffs. The taste of tobacco swirled around my mouth leaving it more dry than it already was. I closed my eyes letting the breeze hit my face. Then it suddenly hit me. How unhappy I was. How nothing in my life was ever exciting. I don't know what I was doing wrong. Life wasn't supposed to feel this empty. I stood on the edge of the railing barely holding on and for a second or two it felt like I was flying. I felt free. I placed my foot over the railing then looked three stories down. Then the sudden urge to get to the other side got to me and the only thing keeping me from falling at this point were my two scrawny arms. The smile on my face was inevitable and for the first time ever I felt completely free. I had full control of my life. I could easily end it so quickly. I had the power to end it and something about knowing I had that made me happy.

"You might wanna feel the wind on this side of the rail" a unrecognizable raspy voice when through the sound of the music playing.

I turned around to the sight of a girl with a ripped up jacket with a messy maroon pixie cut take a puff out her cigarette. She seemed so calm, like nothing in the world bothered her and I envied that. I jumped back and faced her.

"I'm fine, what are you doing here?" I spoke,

"They don't like the smell of cigarettes so I came to this balcony," she shrugged, "but the question is what were you doing?" She spoke puffing once again and blew through her chipped black nail polish. Her concern gave me a anxious feeling. She doesn't know me. Why does she care?

"I wasn't going to jump if that's what you were wondering, I was just uh just enjoying the moment?"

"Hmm okay show me." She demanded.

"What?"

"Show me." she replied, "Show me exactly what you felt."

I handed her my earbuds and she took off her jacket and pulled her tank top up while she climbed over to the other side imitating what I was doing earlier. I became anxious not knowing what she was feeling. She could just think it was just something stupid but then I saw a smile on her face while she grasped on the railing tighter.

"How do you feel ?" I whispered in her ear behind her loud enough so she could hear me.

"Free." She whisperer back turning her head around. I smiled at her response making me realize how close we were to each other which made me anxious. I stepped back and took a look at her. I observed her, everything about her. I noticed how her nose crunched up when she smiled and how she tucked her thumb in every time the breeze hit her face, and the shape of her collar bones exposing from her tank top. I enjoyed everything about her. I enjoyed her company which made me sad because I knew I would probably just see her today and tomorrow it would just be a forgotten thing. She was like a circus, it comes and goes and you enjoy it while its there. But something told me she wouldn't be that easy to forget.

A/N

FUNKSLKDNKJHSKJHDUIJEUK I HOPE THIS WAS GOOD PROB NOT BUT I HOPE ITS GOOD???? IF UR READIN THIS THX AND YOU SHOULD TELL ME WHAT I COULD IMPROVE ON N STUFF YA