Days and Nights ~ Minsung

🌙How to deal with loneliness

Minho

My phone rang brutally waking me up from beautiful sleep. I checked the time and sighed because I couldn't sleep longer. I sat on my bed and stretched my back. I felt like I had a good dream, but I couldn't remember what was it about. I put on a bathrobe and went to the kitchen to eat breakfast. My mom and was probably still sleeping and I didn't want to wake her up. After I ate I dressed and went to the bus stop. It was really cold outside. I liked winter, but that year I had enough of snow and freezing all the time.

My bus arrived, 10 minutes later than it was on the timetable, as always. I got in and put my earphones on. I wouldn't survive without them. I sat at the end of the bus, so I saw everyone. There was some old man reading a newspaper, two grannies discussing something, three girls talking about their schools, a boy with curly hair and headphones on, a boy with a sports bag, and more teenagers going to school. As time passed more people were coming inside. I could say that there was a crowd. I hated crowded places, situations like that created problems and I wasn't in the mood to argue with strangers.

I finally got to my school, freezing. I pushed my jacket and scarf to my small locker and went to the class.

There was still some time before the lesson, so I took out my book and started reading. I pretended to be interested in what I was reading, but I was also watching others. They were all hugging and laughing, telling stories, sometimes even irrelevant stuff. But they were talking. I couldn't do that. I started high school above year and a half ago, but I still didn't have friends. I answered questions and I was nice to all of them. I guess that wasn't enough. I didn't know how to start a conversation, so I just pretended I didn't want to have any. I hated myself for the way I behaved and who I was.

The teacher walked in and everyone slowly sat in their places.

'Good morning class, today I want to introduce the new student, welcome him well' I looked up and saw the girl standing next to the teacher.

'Hi, I'm Yuna. I like dancing'

'You can sit near the window, next to Taehyun' That was right in front of me, so I tensed a bit. Not that I would have feelings for her. That would be ridiculous. Unfortunately, there are some people like that. Love at first sight. Complete nonsense. My opinion was that you can't fall in love with someone without knowing him.

I tried to concentrate on the board and the teacher's words, but often I ended up staring at the girl in front of me. I didn't know why she was special. What was that thing, that I was curious about her. Well, she was indeed pretty, but it didn't change anything. Her style was average and everything else too, but I couldn't help thinking about her.

When the lesson ended I left the classroom and went to biology class for my next lesson. Thank god, she had another class, so I didn't see her until lunch break.

🌙

My school wasn't like in American TV shows. There weren't popular people table, nerds. 

Everybody sat with their friends. Popular girls were sitting with their group of friends, including more shy people. The nerds weren't bullied and everything seemed to be fine. But sometimes bullying isn't about violence. More hurtful can be words, little comments about appearance, or behavior. This school was probably one of the most homophobic in the city. If a girl wears a tie, she can get a few looks. If a boy wears a crop top or what's worse skirt, he'll be totally fired in this place.

I didn't have any friends, so I just took my lunch and sat alone at the table in the corner. Again, it wasn't like in movies where the main character eats lunch alone in the toilet, but I didn't think of myself as a main character at all. That's weird and nobody does it in real life. I took my earphones and turned on some music. Life without music would be so boring. What I didn't expect was someone sitting across from me.

'Hi, I'm Yuna. I think we have literature classes together'

'Hi, I noticed. You introduced yourself, cause you're new'

'Yeah, I thought you didn't care'

'Why?' This conversation was getting me nervous. That fact about me was truly annoying, literally every interaction with people was stressful for me, without any rational reason. I have been like that since I can remember. I feel the other way only with my family.

'You looked bored and not focused'

'I was listening to the teacher, I care about school a lot'

'So you're a nerd'

'Not at all'

'Sooo could you tell me something about school? You know, people and maybe some gossip'

'Wow, straightforward. Why are you asking me? Am I special?'

'You seemed lonely and observant, I thought you would be a good person to talk about surroundings' Ouch, was that really obvious that I was lonely?

'If you want gossip you should sit somewhere else'

'Come on don't be grumpy. If you don't like gossiping tell me something in general. I don't know much'

'Are you gay?' I was shocked by my own confidence and I probably blushed after it, damn.

'Why? You have a crush on me?' she smiled not answering my question.

'If you are, be careful' I put my earphones on and left the cafeteria. It was stupid, I made a fool of myself. Why does every conversation have to end like that? Can't I just say something normal? I quickly got back to my neutral face before walking into class.

🌙

I went to the bus stop again with music accompaniment. Truly lifesaver.

After I got home I ate dinner and started to study. I was exhausted after I finished it at 11 p.m. I got into my bed and smiled. I was happy to rest even if only for 7 hours. It was a lot compared to the night when I was up to 1 a.m.

I wasn't even the best in class. I studied a lot, but I wasn't naturally smart, so it was hard for me.

I fell asleep without any problems, which was unusual for me, I always had problems with it. Maybe it was because of the warm feeling inside me that appeared out of nothing.

Hi!

First 2 days of school and I already have enough. My bus is always late, when it arrives there's absolutely no AC, I'm dying

First physics lesson and I don't understand a bit of a lesson that suppossed to be a revision. Advanced class, huh? I wish I wasn't

Anyway, have a nice day and survive school if you go there

Morpho