When former lovers reunite after three years of separation and no contact, will this encounter mark the conclusion of a chapter or the beginning of a resolution?
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AIAH'S POV
If there's one thing about the human heart that amazes me the most aside from pumping blood, it would be its capability of loving someone untiringly despite the pain that they've caused you.
For almost a year, I've been soldier for love. Despite all the chaos and so many red flags, I still chose to stay because I felt wanted. Mikha made me feel wanted. I was there to make her feel good about herself. A trophy girlfriend, as they would call it.
Mikha grew up alone since her parents were always in a different country for work, but they've been divorced since she was five, they moved on with their separate lives. They left Mikha hanging back in the Philippines.
Since then, she has grown up angry with the world. She's got tons of destructive vices. But if there's one thing she's good at, it would be pushing people away and building walls around her because, as she would always phrase it, "they're going to leave anyway, so what's the point of letting them in?" that's always been her mindset.
She made me believe that I broke down those walls the moment we first met, but I know that it's not entirely true.
The beginning of our relationship was all rainbows and butterflies. I was convinced that this relationship somehow gave her something to look forward to.
"I don't mind how crazy life gets as long as I have you, Aiah. I'm okay, I'm going to be okay." And I got drunk with the thought of saving her.
Like any other relationship, we had our lows. I've drowned myself in her toxicity. I was always the one who understood, and this cycle became constant in our relationship like a continuous loop, and I grew tired of it.
I know deep within myself that this has to end. It needs to end. But I never convinced myself that it's over until I realized that I'm no superhero.
I can't save Mikha. My love won't save her.
As cliché as it sounds, the quote "you really can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved" remains true.
"No Mikhs, you don't understand. I can never change you, that's for sure. If you want to change, you have to do it for yourself, not for me or anyone else. For the past few months, all I have ever done was choose you over myself. I'm choosing myself this time, for my own good. I hope you'll do the same."
I unbuckle my seatbelt. We just arrived at the airport, and I'm about to board in an hour for my flight to Tokyo.
We're still inside the car. Mikha gazed at the car in front of us and forced a smile. "Huh. Well, I guess no one really wants to be with me. Everyone eventually gives up on me." I knew she would say that. She knows that exact line always works whenever she's trying to win me back, but it's not going to work this time.
This has to end. Right here, right now.
I firmly answered, No, you know that's not true. You're the on who gave on yourself a long time ago, and no matter how much we love you, that love will never be enough to save you. I hope one day you'll realize that the only person who can fix you is yourself. Not me, not your parents, not your friends. It starts with you. You can get angry at the world all you can, but that won't change anything." I paused.
I took a deep breath, "Now give me the chance to love myself back and fix me. For once, stop being so selfish." I went out of her car and shut the car door closed. I walked straight to the entrance of the airport without looking back.
I heard her shout my name, and my eyesight went blurry with all the tears in my eyes waiting to drop.
