When former lovers reunite after three years of separation and no contact, will this encounter mark the conclusion of a chapter or the beginning of a resolution?
She smiled at me and looked at the sky, "All thanks to the sunset and the waves here. They gave me the space to feel what I feel, to be vulnerable. Alam mo yung andiyan lang sila nakikinig. Tumatanggap lang, tanggap buong pagkatao ko. Both the good and bad."
I took a deep breath. I did not plan for this conversation to go deep.
Didn't I hold on a little longer? Didn't I gave her enough space to feel all her pain? Didn't I embrace everything about her?
Ang alam ko lang ginawa ko naman lahat ng yan. Napagod lang ako.
"Hindi ko namamalayan, nagiging okay na pala lahat. Kumakalma na ang mga alon at may bitbit nang pagasa sa pagharap ng panibagong bukas." She said that with a smile on her face. Parang ang gaan lang.
My eyes teared up. Pinunasan ko ng patago.
Binago na siya ng panahon at masaya ako sa pagbabagong iyon.
"I just want to say I'm sorry about what happened three years ago, Mikha." I'm truly sorry. She looked at me and smiled at me. "Okay na yun. Sorry din, naging pabigat ako sayo. Sobra."
"I'm sorry I became a burden to you to the point where the only option left was for you to leave the country. I'm sorry naging madamot ako. Puro sarili ko lang iniisip ko." She blurted out.
If I had to leave just to see this version of Mikha three years later, it might be painful but no matter how difficult it is, I wouldn't hesitate. I would happily do it again and again.
Pero sana hindi na umabot dito diba? Pero wala eh, kinailangan ko din hanapin yung Aiah na nawala nung minahal ko siya. Yung Aiah na patuloy ko pa din hinahanap.
"I'm sorry to interrupt guys. Mikha, hinahanap ka ni Denise. She needs you." Colet was right behind us.
Of course, your girlfriend needs you. Mikha excused herself and I just smiled.
Tinabihan ako ni Colet. "Nagalit ba sa akin si Mikha when I left for good?"
Colet caressed my back. "Hindi. Alam mo naman yun, sayo lang hindi kayang magalit nun."
I giggled a little. "Hindi yan totoo. Alam ko she was angry at me nung nasa airport kami three years ago. Kasi umalis nga ako diba? Iniwan ko siya."
Huminga ng malalim si Colet. "Mahal ka ni Mikha. Hindi niya lang matanggap yung pag alis mo pero mahal ka nun."
I smiled. The sun finally set. "In fact, she waited for you sa labas ng terminal 3 kasi umaasa siyang you'll change your mind. Na babalik ka, na babalikan mo siya."
Pumikit ako at tumulo ang aking mga luha.
"Pinuntahan ko siya sa airport at nakita ko siyang nakaupo sa sahig. Inaya ko siyang umuwi na kasi nasa Japan ka na. Pero ayaw niya pa din, doon lang daw siya. Aantayin ka niya. Sinamahan ko siya for the next few hours. Iyak lang siya ng iyak."
Colet continues, "Nakaalalay lang kami kay Mikha nung umalis ka. Inom siya ng inom. Yung tipong bagong gising, iinom agad para daw makatulog siya ulit. Kasi yung pagtulog lang ang tanging takas niya sa lungkot at sakit."
Ako naman ngayon ang iyak ng iyak. Nanlumo ako sa sarili ko. Hindi ko kinakaya ang mga naririnig ko. I was just as selfish.
Umupo ako sa buhangin. "Napakasama ko. Ang sama sama kong tao." I was crying so intensely that I hugged my feet.
Colet sat down beside me and gently caressed my back. "Sshhh, don't say that. Hindi yan totoo. You just did what you thought was best at the time. Wala kang kasalanan." Hindi ko alam kung kaya kong paniwalaan yan.
Iyak ako ng iyak. Nadudurog ang puso ko sa aking nababalitaan.
"Kung alam ko lang..." I muttered.
"Babalik ka?" Tanong ni Colet. I don't know how to answer that question.
"Kung ganun lang sana kadaling ayusin 'di ba? Pero whatever happened three years ago was supposed to happen. It led us her. So stop blaming yourself for what happened when you left. You needed to break free during those times too."
"Remember, Aiah, you're just as deeply hurt as Mikha."
I was crying so hard that I didn't realize Maloi had come beside me. She was gently caressing my back too. "Halika na, Ate Aiah. Ihahatid ka na naming sa room mo." She said softly, urging me to come with them to my room.
They supported me as I walked, my eyes were fixed on my feet heading towards my room. "We're just taking her to her room, she has a headache."
I never heard anyone asked. Maybe Colet was just reassuring the girls that everything was okay. That I am okay.
"Thank you, guys. I will go out later pag okay na ko. I just need to cool down." I smiled at Colet and Maloi.
"Hindi na Ate Aiah. Magpahinga ka na muna. Tapos na din naman yung bridal shower." Maloi assured me. I hugged and thanked the both of them. I feel so fortunate, no, Mikha and I are so fortunate to have them as our friends.
Some things need to end to pave the way for a new beginning. What we had to go through was painful but necessary. Everything eventually led us here, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
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I took a shower to freshen up. I'll just rest for tonight.
Kakatapos ko lang maligo when I heard someone knocking on my door. Hindi pa ako bihis kaya sinuot ko ang bathrobe para naman mukhang disente ako.
I looked at myself in the mirror. Thank God, my eyes are not puffy anymore.
I opened the door halfway and peeked to see who it was. It was Mikha. "Sorry to bother you, masakit daw ulo mo sabi ni Ate Colet kaya I brought these." She handed me the medicine kit.
"Thank you ha? Nag-abala ka pa." Tinititigan niya mga mata ko. "Bihis muna ako. Thanks ulit." I was about to close the door, but she stopped it halfway.
"Hey. Everyone will go surfing tomorrow at six in the morning. You're free to join." Nakatitig pa din siya sa mga mata ko.
I heard the door from Jho and Stacey's room closed. It was Denise. Close din pala sila ng girls? Lumapit agad siya kay Mikha. "Sure, I'll join." I smiled.
"Hey, how are you? I heard you had a headache." Denise asked. I smiled at her and replied, "I'm okay na. Nawala din agad after I showered."
I'm talking to Denise, but Mikha is still staring into my eyes. What is she thinking?
"That's good to hear. I hope you can join us tomorrow morning. Surf tayo. Naging morning routine na namin 'to ni Mikha, and we want you to join." She's so giddy, and she looked at Mikha after saying that.
Si Mikha na nakatitig pa din sa akin hanggang ngayon. Hello? Nasa tabi mo girlfriend mo.
Tumingin ako kay Mikha. Our eyes met. "Yeah, Mikha just mentioned it. Of course, I'll join." I replied. I raised both my eyebrows at Mikha.
"Great! We'll see you tomorrow. Aalis na kami para makapagpahinga ka na." I smiled at Denise.
She pulled Mikha and led her down the hallway. "See you." I replied before closing the door.
