A Hand To Hold | Cglre |

Chapter 17: Dada's Home

Sophie's POV

I woke up feeling the same as every other morning lately—sad and a little mad. The sun was peeking through my curtains, casting a warm glow across the room, but I couldn't feel its warmth. My heart felt cold and empty. Dada wasn't here, and I was sure he wouldn't come back. Mama said he would, but I didn't believe her. Grown-ups lie.

I rubbed my eyes and hugged Blue tightly to my chest. "Blue," I whispered, "do you think Dada will ever come back?" Blue's button eyes stared back at me, silent as always. I sighed and buried my face in his soft fur.

I missed Dada so much. I missed his hugs and the way he made me laugh. He called everyday and I saw him on 'facetime' as mama called it, but it wasn't enough. My heart hurt when I thought about him, and it hurt even more when I thought about Mama leaving me too. What if she decided to go away like Dada did? The thought made my tummy feel funny, like I might be sick.

"Sophie?" Mama's voice called from the hallway. "Are you awake, sweetie?"

I didn't answer. Maybe if I was really quiet, she would think I was still asleep and leave me alone. But the door creaked open, and Mama's face appeared, smiling but I could tell she was tired. I knew I was being difficult and I could see Mama was trying really hard to make our days fun but I didn't want to do anything, I just wanted my dada.

"Good morning, my little sunshine," she said, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. I had been sleeping with her and mostly breastfeeding through the night; it was the only thing that helped me sleep those days. Her hand reached out to smooth my hair, but I turned away. I just wanted Dada.

Mama's hand paused in mid-air, then slowly retreated. "Sophie," she said softly, "I know you're sad. I miss Dada too. But I have very good news...

"He's coming home today!" she said lifting her arms in celebration.

I shook my head and hugged Blue tighter, not believing her. It was just another lie to make me stop crying. Grown-ups always did that.

"No, he's not," I mumbled into Blue's fur. I saw Mama look at the ceiling with her eyes closed and take a deep breath before she looked back at me trying her hardest to smile but even I could tell it wasn't a real smile.

"He is, sweetheart. I promise. We're going to go pick him up at the airport later today. Isn't that exciting?"

I continued to look at Mama's face, studying her. Even though she looked tired, I could see her eyes sparkling in a way they hadn't for days, like she had hope; I knew that emotion all too well. But I didn't want to feel what always comes after that, depression. What if she was wrong? What if Dada didn't come?

"How about we get some breakfast in that belly of yours?" Mama asked, smiling, and tickling me, but I pushed her hands away.

"No," I said, turning away from her. I didn't want anything. I just wanted Dada.

Mama sighed but didn't push. Instead, she picked me up and hugged me tight. "I guess it's okay until later. But we still have to get ready, Dada will be here soon, sweetheart. We need to get ready so we can go pick him up."

I wanted to believe her so much, but I was too scared to hope. What if he didn't come? just as everyone else in my life had failed me. The thought made my stomach hurt even more.

"How about we get you dressed in your pretty pink dress? The one you like so much?" Mama suggested, setting me down gently.

I nodded reluctantly. If there was even a tiny chance Dada was coming home, I wanted to look nice for him. It isn't me hoping he comes, it's just a precaution.