Stuck With Francis

- 2 -

"Should I try ecstasy?"

I looked up from my derivatives worksheet and blankly stared at my friend Andrew, who never failed to amaze me with his ability to distract me every calculus class. 

"Evie said she can hook me up, she's gonna have a birthday party next month. We're invited, so are you gonna do it with me?",  Andrew pleaded as I told him to quiet down. The class is always noisy but I still didn't want my favorite teacher thinking I'm a junkie. 

"I'll stick to booze. I can't even handle weed, imagine how much I'll flip out if I take something more serious."

"Dude, you weren't even that bad, everyone greens out once in their lives."

"I couldn't even move to speak and I physically felt all my organs functioning in my body. It was gross--and horrifying."

"Alright well, you have to come with me to the party, I need my right hand man. Maybe we can also secure our two-man there, if you know what I mean," Andrew said with a cheeky smile. 

He's been crushing on this girl Evie ever since senior year started, and she has a friend named Alice that he's keen on me to get with. Alice and I have always been decent friends, greeting each other in the hall, giving each other homework answers, and many times rendezvousing to a silent corner of a party together to chat. She's always been very pretty to me as well, and I am quite specific on looks.

For example, I much prefer when a girl has short hair that's kinda messy, like strands pointing out at her cheeks and chin, rather than boring long hair. Eyeliner is super sexy to me, and dark lipstick as well but only on some girls. I also appreciate when a girl has a unique style of clothing because it usually means she'll be less uptight to talk to. The last thing, well least important thing but still significant, is height--as a guy who's 5'9 I want a girl around my height but bit shorter. I think taller women are the best, and I wish I could grow a foot so my future tall model wife could wear heels around me. That's dreaming big, though. 

I've never understood what gene in my chemical makeup made me so picky towards women. For my whole life, I've never developed a serious crush on a girl since I was 9 and my neighbor's daughter babysat me. My last relationship with a very sweet girl named Selene hardly lasted a month before I freaked out and broke it off with her. Andrew sort of pressured me into the relationship sophomore year anyways. Selene was very cute, filled many boxes I stated above, a top-ranking student, and we matched personality-wise. Over time she would start staring at me playfully in class and sending me notes that got gradually more flirty. It excited me at the moment and Andrew urged me to take the opportunity, and so we became boyfriend and girlfriend. Somehow in my brain being her boyfriend ruined the perfectly good relationship we had before establishing anything. Sending "Goodnight" and "Good morning" texts exhausted me, complimenting her everyday exhausted me, holding her hand everywhere we went exhausted me. Flash forward to 17 year old me, I'm perfectly fine with being single and have accepted the fact that I'm not ready to date girls. Come to think of it though, am I getting too old to maintain this philosophy?

"Alice and I are good friends, I don't want to hurt her with my indecisiveness." I responded to Andrew. "I'll 'two-man' with you as long as it's not Alice. Does that make you happy?"

"Shit, as long as by that party I've locked in with Evie, I'll be happy." 

"Awww, you're in loveee." I rubbed his hair like an annoying uncle and he started giggling like a little girl. Andrew's a very expressive person, which is what I like about him. I feel like he could find a better girl than Evie, one less boring, to match his high energy, but I'll support him in whatever endeavor he chooses. 

Mrs. Vick looked up from her kale salad and in a very disinterest tone said, "Come on, class, it's one worksheet. Just get it done and goof off during lunch," speaking to the class but mostly to just me and Andrew.